SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, CLASSROOM. The teacher is out on recess duty. He is walking around the playground when one of his students comes running up. The boy falls in step with the teacher and is silent for several moments. The boy stares at the teacher’s forearm which is showing from underneath his rolled up sleeves. The boy looks down at his own arm, and then back at the teacher’s. After a minute, the boy holds his own arm up.
JOEY: Mr. Z, did you know that I have almost as much arm hair as you do?
TEACHER: Not quite, Joey. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait until you go through puberty.
JOEY: [Confused]. Puberty?
TEACHER: Yeah, you know…when you start to get hair under your arms.
[The boy's face breaks into an excited grin as he points to both his left and right armpits].
JOEY: I’ve already got eight of them! I’ve got five under this arm and three under this one! [Pause]. I haven’t named them yet…
TEACHER: Wow, I’ll bet your parents are proud of you.
JOEY: [Brightly] They are. It was kind of a big deal at my house, you know.
TEACHER: [Surprised]. Oh, because it sounds more like you’re kind of starved for entertainment.
[The boy nods and a solemn look flashes across his face].
JOEY: Yeah, tell me about it.
Fade to black.
21 comments:
That Joey! Funny!
Ha ha! Well, I have been called by my first graders werewolf and gorilla. They have never tried to grow the arm hair themselves though.
He's almost a real live boy!
I can't believe he counts them.
Nevermind. If it's who I think it is- yes, I can.
I would've been in shock or rolling on the ground. I'm glad you can keep your head so we have great stories to read like this one.
Ha! Just the laugh I needed today.
this is why I blog - because otherwise I'd be so starved for entertainment I'd have to count my armpit hairs!
thanks for giving me a smile, I've been dreading the beginning of the school year - maybe I'll get lucky and only have to work with Joeys this year?
Oh my goodness. So funny. I work at an elementary school and a couple of years ago we had a fifth grader who announced that he had started to grow "public hair"! I still remember our principal (a great lady with a wonderful sense of humor) waving her hands in front of her face and saying, "Oh no, please, it is not "public" hair, so please don't show it to the "public." Don't kids say the darndest things? It makes those bad days worth it. And how can you not laugh when you itch your head and a serious first grader offers to accompany you to the office so the nurse can check you for "mice"!!!
Joey's so funny. How do you keep straight face? Is it like when you watch a funny tv show and don't laugh out loud, but on the inside? If so, your insides most be rolling.
And would Joey's name be Mr. M in this case? That is SO something he would do/say. (shaking head) With older brothers boasting about theirs.... The day I gave Mr. M his very own deoderant he was so thrilled. YES!!!!, he said. "My very own deoderant!"
You just gotta love him - unnamed hair and all.
As long as you continue to write about the Joeys in your life, the rest of us will NEVER be starved for entertainment!
If Joey was really bored, he could count his arm hair.
Pretty funny stuff. Glad you have Joey in your life and on your blog!
naming arm hairs? Ha ha!
He counted them!! I love it! that made my morning!
Oh boy! My son is approaching...I can smell him...at 10?!!?
LOl - I just heard all about Shark's son's first armpit hair. Yes, it IS a big deal.
Wow! I suddenly feel like your blog is preparing me for what to expect from my own boys in the years to come. :D
Who knew boys counted their armpit hairs!
LOL I love your Moments With Joey! Too funny!
Ah this so reminds me of the time I had to help a fifth grade boy on an open response question about the signs of puperty. Keep an eye out, I just might blog about it ;o)
Uhhh I had almost this EXACT same conversation with my son on our summer vacation.
Except he calls them his "grapevines"
Lol! He really counted them? Too funny
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