It wasn't funny

Pin It

I read over a blog entry this morning my cousin made about the song, “Don’t Laugh at Me” originally performed by Peter, Paul, & Mary. It reminded me of another version of this song I shared with my class last year as part of a song lyric study we do.

I listened to the song about thirty times and I still question all of the lyrics I was able to get down because of how quickly the artist sings them. However, the main point is that the message is clear…to not get our feelings of superiority or to laugh at the expense of others.

As I was looking for the video to this song to post, I came across several videos on YouTube where someone had convinced an overweight boy to dance crazily or someone was recorded doing a face-plant at the beach. Labels on these videos included things like, “Funniest Video Ever” or “This one will make you laugh!”

Sadly, they all came up when I typed in the search string of words, “Don’t Laugh.”

I remember feeling sickened as a roommate I had when I went to college was laughing hysterically at a video online, and called us all over to see what was so great. Curious, I walked over to his computer and he showed me a video of a man who decided to jaywalk. A car hit him and the man must have flown twenty feet down the street, landing in a crumpled heap on the asphalt. My roommate broke into fits of laughter saying, “Isn’t that the funniest thing ever!?”

I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe what I’d just seen and how someone could trivialize it; shrugging it all off with, “Oh, they planned to hit him like that and the guy probably knew about it.”

It didn’t matter. It was not funny.

Sometimes it shocks me because of the things we view in society today as being ‘funny,’ or the photo we have to forward because it’s just so great.

I apologize about the lyrics if you read over them and discover that they are incorrect…like I said, he sings pretty fast.

Thanks, 'J' for reminding me.

Don’t Laugh at Me
Baby Jay

I’m the one they laughing at ‘cause my glasses on
Getting’ called a geek, never show my teeth, got braces on
And I know how it is to have to cry myself to sleep
What can I do, I guess I’ll just sit here myself and I weep

Is it just me, or do the others see flaws in my appearance?
It’s good to see they always find something to laugh hysteric
Or is it ‘cause I’m last there to get chosen this round
The out-of-dated playground’s clown when this was his time

Well I guess it is the truth ‘cause you choose who you want to mess with
You want to make fun of me? Then stand in my shoes for a second
Well is it too much to ask? ‘cause I’m here to listen: don’t pass me up
Don’t have to be my friend

(Don’t laugh at me)
Don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In God’s eyes we all the same
Someday we all have perfect wings
Don’t laugh at me (uh, uh)
Don’t laugh at me

(In God’s eyes, we’re all the same)
In God’s eyes we all the same
(Someday we’ll all have perfect wings)
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

The cost of livin’ that’s risen slapped me in criticism prison
It isn’t ‘bout who you are, or more but ‘bout what one is driven
Everyone’s lust for material riches is what really eats me up
A moment to say hello, Billy will on these streets we flow

People stare at handicapped; they kept looking for Bi-C
Had we ever met and spend when you pass out eyes never meet
I guess it’s not surprising, I’m never, it’s just like in the street
Last night I caught this bruise ‘cause I wouldn’t give up my bicycle

Because there was the fight for no reason,
I fight against the peer pressure
No beggars stealing chicken want you living for the street
Well is it too much to ask, ‘cause I’m here to listen: don’t pass me up
Don’t have to be my friend

(Don’t laugh at me)
Don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In God’s eyes we all the same
Someday we all have perfect wings
Don’t laugh at me (uh, uh)
Don’t laugh at me

(In God’s eyes, we’re all the same)
In God’s eyes we’re all the same
(Someday we’ll all have perfect wings)
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

If we’re fat, thin, deaf, blind, short or tall
Well aren’t we all? Well aren’t we all?
So, if we’re fat, thin, deaf, blind, short or tall
Then aren’t we all? Then aren’t we all?
Even if we’re fat, thin, deaf, blind, short or tall
Well aren’t we all? Well aren’t we all?
So if we’re fat, thin, deaf, blind, short or tall
Then aren’t we all? Then aren’t we all?

Since we all have in common, don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In His eyes we all the same
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

(Don’t laugh at me)
Don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In God’s eyes we all the same
Someday we all have perfect wings
Don’t laugh at me (uh, uh)
Don’t laugh at me

(In God’s eyes we’re all the same)
In God’s eyes we’re all the same
(Someday we’ll all have perfect wings)
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings

(Don’t laugh at me)

Don’t laugh

What's cooler than being cool?

Pin It I saw a student at my school who was sitting up against the wall, crying.

“What’s the matter, Joey?” I asked.

“Some kids made fun of me on the playground.”

“Now why would they do that?”

The tears started to flow. “They told me I shouldn’t be wearing sunglasses. They said, ‘Why are you wearing sunglasses? Are you trying to be cool? Because you’re not!’”

Face was buried in hands once more, and crying commenced. “I told them that everybody in the world is trying to be something they’re not, so it’s okay for me too…they just laughed at me and said I’d never be cool.”

I sat down next to Joey.

“So what gives these three other kids the power to decide who is and who isn’t cool?” I asked. “Why do you believe that they can choose who or what you are?

“I don’t know…”

“Well, I think you’re pretty cool…and whose opinion is more important to you? Mine, or theirs?”

“Well, yours, Mr. Z.”

“You know what it is that really makes a person ‘uncool’, Joey?”

Shrug.

“Somebody who makes fun of others, hoping that their fellow loser friends will think they’re cool…now that is waaaayyyy uncool in my eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” I smiled.

“These glasses are pretty cool, you know.”

“Yep, but not as cool as the kid wearing them.”

Building v.s. Wrecking

Pin It In our lives, we all are faced with decisions; it is these decisions that make us what we are. It was Steven Curtis Chapman who once said,

“We are who and where and what we are…for now.
This is the only moment, we can do anything about.”

There is a poem I heard a few years ago that really hit me hard when I first came across it. The poem illustrates the two types of people that are out there…builders, and wreckers…

The Builder

I passed one day though a busy town,
and saw them tearing a building down.
With a “Ho, heave ho!” and a husky yell,
they swung a beam and a side wall fell.

I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled?
The kind you’d hire if you had to build?”
“No,” he chuckled. “No indeed,
the common laborer is all I need.
I can easily destroy in a day or two,
what builders have taken weeks to do.”

I thought to myself as I went on my way,
which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
strengthening lives by rule and square,
shaping my peers to a well-made plan,
helping them do the best they can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks the town,
content with the labor of tearing down?

- Author Unknown

The more often we make one certain type of decision, the easier it is to make similar choices in days to come. Like a trickle of water which entrenches itself deeper and deeper into layers of ancient sandstone—one day to form a canyon—so are the type of actions we choose day to day, that cut their way into the sandstone of our habits, forming our character.

“Always be a little kinder than necessary.” ~James M. Barrie

One of the choices we make in this life is how we will treat those around us, whether they are our friends, family members, coworkers, or acquaintances. We can make a decision to be kind, or to be unkind. We can choose to build them up, or to tear them down. Like an artist’s painting which may take days, weeks, or even months to complete, building up of others can happen, however, this work takes time. Yet, it only takes a moment to destroy the priceless masterpiece—it is so much easier to tear a person down than to build them up.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” - George Washington Carver

A few years ago I had a student in my class whom I’ll call “Joey.” Joey was a bit behind his classmates in academics as well as in sporting ability. He was not a perfect kid. Joey was also a little bit different from his classmates and this made it hard for him to make good friends.

You see, many kids would look at him on the outside, and judge him based solely on this. So often, they’d merely hear something about him from somebody else and take this as being truth. They wouldn’t try to get to know him, but instead let somebody else’s ideas become the new reality of this boy. Many kids would tease him because he was an easy target, tearing him down, and making fun of him for the things which were different about him.

I watched with anguish as this boy made mistakes, and then would be teased by those around him. I tried to help, but unfortunately you cannot control the spiteful actions people can sometimes do…I saw him slowly being worn down by his peers—his classmates, those who should have been his friends.

I hoped that things would get better for Joey in middle school, that with a larger group of kids he would be given a fair chance and have the opportunity to make more friends. Unfortunately, this was not the case. His “reputation” followed him, spurned on by the cutting remarks by those who’d known him in grade school. In middle school he still had a problem finding good friends…people that could truly see the boy who was there.

“Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” - T.H. Thompson

This last week, Joey came by to say hello. He shared with me that he only has one friend now in school and that it’s hard for him. When I asked him what could be done, he said, “Nothing. People just don’t give me a chance…they won’t even try to get to know me.”

When he left my classroom I did a lot of thinking about this boy. I also have thought a lot about the things I have chosen to do in my own life. I am forced to look at myself and ask the hard question…who have I often chosen to be? Have I been a builder who works with care with all those around me? Or have I chosen to be a wrecker who tears down? I guess there have been times in my life where I have been both of these. It is my goal to try to be the person who builds, rather than he that simply destroys…we are all works in progress and need to remember that tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to do better than we have before.

It's time for letting go, of all of our “if onlies”
Cause we don't have a time machine.
And even if we did, would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?

Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about.

- Steven Curtis Chapman

My goal is to seize the “miracle of the moment” while it is yet mine.

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.” - Dave Barry

Judging Joey

Pin It Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

I have been thinking a lot lately about people and how easy it is to judge them like books on library shelves, before ever having taken the time to “read” them. I am reminded of an experience several years ago when I was living in Missouri. My mom sent me a letter and in it she spoke about the way that we treat people, and also how we see them. Mom had been working in Colville, Washington at the time and she said:

“I was at work this week and I was looking out the window, watching people passing by on the sidewalk. I soon noticed a man who had cerebral palsy walking down the sidewalk. I watched him as he tried to make his uncooperating body cooperate as he made his way up the sidewalk. As he passed by the window, I noticed that on the back of his shirt were printed the words, “Jesus Christ” in large letters and also something else beneath this which was too small for me to read. I thought to myself just how interesting it was that this man had chosen to show his belief in the Savior in this way. It was a moment later that a thought struck me...that maybe he really was the Savior. Maybe he had made himself appear in this way to see how those around him would react. It was this thought that made me feel ashamed and I realized then that we all need to be more loving, and less judging of those who are around us.”

“We take it for granted we know the whole story - We judge a book by its cover and read what we want between selected lines.” - W. Axl Rose

I can’t even begin to recall how many times I have been judgmental of others because of the way they look on the outside. I was reminded of how dangerous this can be with a young man I’ll choose to call, “Joey.” Joey had come into my classroom a few years ago and with the long hair, baggy clothes, and the chain connecting his wallet to his pants, he had the distinct look of a honest-to-goodness punk. I remember the first day he came to my classroom and how I had no expectations from this boy other than the fact that he was going to be nothing but trouble.

Well, as it turned out, “Joey” turned out to be the exact opposite of what I had thought originally. He was a young man that cared deeply for others and who also worked very hard in school and got good grades.

There were numerous times Joey would help others and include them in the games he played at recess. I found myself ashamed that I had judged someone so quickly and had been ready to not even give them a chance. This was a boy who taught me that we should not be so quick to judge others…for, if we do, we will undoubtedly find ourselves wrong in many instances. I believe that Mother Teresa summed it up best when she said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” We should try be as loving and as accepting as we possibly can, after all, we want to be accepted and loved by those around us.