November 26, 2009

Pin It My mind is a tumult of thought.

I thought about Mom today; as I did, I found it strange that someone you care about in this life could suddenly be whisked away. Photographs still remain. Videos might be left behind. Recordings of their voice might still be in existence…yet they are no longer with us.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to write about Mom, about how I’ve felt, about the good and the bad moments over the previous months since that fateful day this past summer. A whole lifetime has passed since those heartrending moments, and yet, it feels like it was only as long ago as a whisper shared amongst friends.

Time keeps going on whether or not we’d like it to.

The house was a melee of smells as family members were preparing the food for our Thanksgiving feast; however, I just felt that I needed to get out for a little while—to be alone—to think.

I decided to take out the trash.

I moved outside into the bitter crisp of November as the Thanksgiving wind buffeted me from all sides. In the distance, the pale light of the sun shone through the horizon’s misty clouds. I wanted that sun to bury its warmth deep into the empty and dark places of my soul. I stood, breathing in with lungs capable of still doing so, feeling the oxygen filling me.

I thought of the meal we were about to eat; the meal that she would not be taking a part in. It just seemed so inequitable, so unfair.

I retreated to my basement office to escape everyone and everything. I decided to organize files—as well as the accumulated slices of decades’ worth of living—to take my mind from the pummel of reflection. I settled down and found boxes rising about me in the minefield of disorganization…

Letters, photographs, various knickknacks and paddywhacks; they surrounded me like a vestibule of yesterday.

As I sifted though these fragments of my own life’s history, I felt myself remembering this particular student, that specific moment of childhood—a fragmented memory which had long-since been forgotten and lain dusty and dormant.

It wasn’t long before my dad came into the room.

Against the wall was a collection of artwork Dad had given to me on that last visit home, nestled amongst them were the sticheries, those which Arlene had done while she was still alive. Dad stared silently at each of these pieces in turn and then asked:

“Did you know that she wrote to you on the back of this one?”

I looked up from the papers I’d been sorting through, and shook my head. I arose from my place and moved slowly to where my dad was standing. The stichery was large, proclaiming “Welcome to the Zimmerman’s” proudly from its frame.

I turned the frame with trembling fingers and looked down at the brown paper backing. There, scrawled in curls I immediately recognized, I saw a message written to me. Mom had written it, she’d written sometime before—before the final days and moments that had taken her inescapably away.

I read over the note she’d written, my mouth dropping open. I was devoid of speech for several moments—I simply gazed at the writing before me.

And, just for a moment, she was there. Whispering those things I so much needed to hear, a message spoken from beyond the blistering confines of this thorny life.

When my dad departed from the room, I remained a few moments longer, gazing at the letter written to me.

I smiled.

Photographs still remain. Videos might be left behind. Recordings of voices might still be in existence…and testaments of love will not be forgotten.

Have you ever noticed...

Pin It that you just stop noticing?

I did.

If you noticed this as well, click over to Four Perspectives...it's worthy of notice.

The Winds that Blow

Pin It The frivolous snow tumbles down from the darkened sky as the smells of fresh Tortellini Soup drifts about the house mixed with the aroma of freshly-baked rolls. Christmas lights twinkle from the tree in the living room while the strains of Alison Krauss drift lazily about the air—mixing into a potpourri of deliciousness.

I dipped the last few cake bites in the ambrosia chocolate; as I placed them on the waxed paper to cool, the front door opened. At first I thought it must have been of its own accord; not shut properly and hence blown open from the gusts of wintry wind. However, instead of a misguided storm as an assailant, three family members pushed through door, laden down with bags and blankets, with them came a few crystalline flakes which immediately began to melt upon touching down in the warmed interior.

I find that words now fail me with this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness—gratitude for siblings—for the love parents here and absent—for family.

The warm interior of the house now has yet another sense added into it—a new sensation to blend like marshmallows in velvety hot chocolate and wrapped in a cocoon of eiderdown.

This is Thanksgiving.

Why didn't I think of that?

Pin It There are moments in my life when the actions of others cause me to smile, to laugh out loud, or simply to wonder, “Why didn’t I think of doing that?”

If you click play, you’ll know exactly what I mean…it’s worth the four minutes of your life it will take to watch it.

Goodnight, bloggers.

Life Session

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“If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.”

—Tom Stoppard

There is something to be said of children; of their ability to laugh, to smile, and to simply be. This past Saturday, when the November snows began to fall from the heavens and the beleaguered winds found themselves chasing the last few scattered leaves down empty streets, I found myself sheltered behind the lens of my camera—the place I love to be.

I had the opportunity to capture moment in time; a Life Session of one wonderful—and unforgettable—little boy.

May you enjoy viewing these images as much as I did while capturing them.

Places and Wanderings

Pin It
Ever wonder about the place you are now?

So have I.

I’d invite you to read about it HERE, but in order to do this, it’s another place you must go…

Homelessness in Utah

Pin It When Gerb’s family decides on a theme for a photo shoot, I always find a trill of excitement rising within’ me; after all—one can never know just what to expect.

Last year the idea was 70s; this year?

Destitute.

In a word or two: sheer brilliance.

While I could tell you all about the ogling of passers-by while this family of eleven trudged down the street with half of their children in shopping carts, about the anomalous looks from the well-groomed family of four with their twin four year-old boys in matching attire getting photos by the train, I’ll forbear.

It was all jealousy…pure and simple.

After a fantastic shoot in the biting cold with crying children and runny noses, I headed home and uploaded the images to my computer; what I saw tugged at my heart.

It still does.

I one day too hope to have aesthetically-pleasing children so that I will have the option to send them out to the streets to beg if ever the need arises.

















More images may be seen here.

Tomorrow’s Gift

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The sunset of today has ended.

The sunrise of tomorrow has not yet begun, but when it does rise, what will it bring?

If you’re back at 8:00 tomorrow morning, you just might find yourself surprised.

…or shocked.

Settling Scores...

Pin It I come to you tonight to let you know about the ongoing discussion of minds, one which needs a final verdict…

If you haven’t kept up with the comment section HERE, then you’ve been missing out on the great dispute; quite possibly one of the greatest contests of opinions of all-time.

Merlin or Dumbledore?

Please help settle the debate by voting below. And tell your friends to do so too…the more votes, the better.

The poll will close at 6:00 on Friday - Mountain Time.


There needs to be resolution…

Autumn Photoshoot

Pin It I was recently commissioned to do a photoshoot of a local family of eleven. These are a few (but not all) of my favorite shots. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do…

You can view other shots here.