Saturday, February 6, 2010

Moments with Joey – The Pet

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON. CLASSROOM. The students are leaving the classroom for afternoon recess. The teacher takes a few books which need shelving and heads to the bookshelf in the corner of the room; he is stopped by a boy still sitting at his desk by that corner.

JOEY: Mr. Z?

TEACHER: What’s up, Joey?

JOEY: I was just wondering…what if I was a cat?

TEACHER: (confused) A cat?

[The boy nods his head and then grins at the teacher.]

JOEY: Yeah, but not just any cat…your cat.

[The teacher looks at the boy for a moment then shakes his head.]

TEACHER: I’m afraid that I’d have to get rid of you; you see, I’m allergic to cats.

[The boy sits for a second with a furrowed brow and then looks at the teacher again with shining eyes].

JOEY: What if I was a dog?

TEACHER: I don’t think so, dogs really belong outside; besides, my yard isn’t really big enough for a dog. I’d have to get rid of you.

JOEY: A talking bird?

TEACHER: Talking birds are annoying. Sorry, I can’t stand them.

JOEY: A monkey?

TEACHER: I really don’t have a place to keep a monkey, and they’re not my favorite animal anyway; I’m afraid you’d have to go.

JOEY: What if I was a small pet? Would you keep me?

TEACHER: Animals really aren’t my style, Joey. Sorry.

JOEY: What about a 5th grader?

TEACHER: Now that I’d keep.

[Fade to black]


Mamma has spoken said...

Hum, not even a fish? Wow the fish would be so much easier to keep than the fifth grader especially when they hit puberty.....

Rachel said...

What? Dogs belong outside? Oh boy. Don't tell Levi that.........

Lori said...

Obviously I have books on the brain, but this reminds me of the "Mama Do You Love Me" book, where the little girl is testing her mother with different scenarios. Would you love if I did this? Well, how about if I were a big ole.....what if I did this....? It's hilarious.

Gerb said...

I'll have to agree with you. A 5th grader is MUCH better than a pet. I did have a pet rock once, though, and it looked just the same after I'd lost it for 2 years.

Teachinfourth said...

B - I used to have fish when I was a kid. Never again.

R - It'll be our little secret...

L - I never stopped to think about that; it's been a few years since I've read that book, but I can see the similarity now.

G - I wanted a pet rock, but my parents wouldn't buy me one. I ended up just getting a handful of gravel from the driveway and pretending that they were didn't work.

Sarah said...

Awww, sweet. I think that sometimes I'd like a 5th grader around here instead of all the critters, especially if they have that much "spunk"!!

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