Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Moments with Joey – The Cell Phone

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. MORNING, CLASSROOM. The class is working on their literacy tests. The room is completely silent as the students answer questions via laptops. Suddenly, there is a loud outburst of noise from the area of the students’ backpacks.

BACKPACK: What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

[The class’ attention is immediately snapped as one to the rows of backpacks lining the south wall of the room. The teacher stops helping a student with a question and stands].

TEACHER: All right, whose backpack is serenading us?

CLASS: [Silence].

BACKPACK: I’m a get, get, get, get, you drunk; get you love drunk off my hump…

TEACHER: Anyone?

[The teacher walks to the coat rack and removes the cell phone that is singing even louder now that its been removed from the shadowy confines of the JanSport].

CELL PHONE: My Humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps; check it out!

[The class is trying very hard not to laugh, but several giggles erupt from the corners of the room anyhow. The teacher switches the ringer off and glances at the phone display that reads, “mom.”].

JOHN: Hey, that’s Joey’s backpack!

BRENNA: Yeah, then that must be Joey’s phone, Mr. Z.

TEACHER: Okay then class, get back to your tests. Joey, would you please come here for a minute?

[The class still utters a few giggles as they return to their laptops. Joey’s face is burning red with embarrassment as he approaches the teacher.]

JOEY: [Whispered] Mr. Z, it’s my mom’s cell phone…

TEACHER: [Whispered back] Your mom has herself listed as ‘MOM’ in her own phone?

JOEY: Uh…[The boy looks at the floor and whispers]. No, because it’s not really her phone...

TEACHER: [The teacher ponders this statement for a silent moment, then raises his voice just loud enough for the entire class to hear]. Joey the next time your mom lends you her phone, will you please make sure you turn the ringer off before you put it in your backpack?

[The boy grins and nods his head].

TEACHER: You can pick her phone up after school.

JOEY: [Whispered] Thanks Mr. Z.

[The teacher gives a subtle wink as Joey returns to his desk and recommences work on his test].

Fade to black.

26 comments:

Cynthia said...

Um, oh goodness. I had something similar to this happen in my 3rd grade classroom last year. Ha!

Also, very interesting blog! Thanks for stopping by yesterday. The Weepies are in constant rotation around here ;^)

Natasha said...

Ha, wow! I wonder who chose that ringtone, the mom or Joey?

You have a girl named Brenna in your class? That's my sister's name.

Marnie said...

Poor kid, has to take his Mom's phone to school and that song play's on her ringer! I'm sure he will have it shut off from now on :D

Cheryl said...

Excellent. Very well-played, I might add. Your blog is wonderful, and I can relate to the teaching experiences. It's nice to see a guy's perspective, too.

Thanks for the comments on my silly blog. That blog header picture was our family's Christmas card pic--it was fashioned after a portrait of Brigham Young in his pink house at This is the Place park. It's of the back of his head, framed and on the wall. We saw it on our trip last summer and were inspired...

Cheeseboy said...

So great and so true. I get cell phones going off all the time in backpacks and I teach FIRST GRADE! Who is trying to reach a first grader in the middle of the day?! I always answer it to try and find out.

Mrs. Organic said...

You are far too nice (that's not a bad thing). Joey is lucky you've got his back, er his humps, his humps, his lovely lady lumps.

How much you wanna bet he changed his ring tone?

Amy said...

You're a good man Charlie Brown. Your blog is cool. I plan on coming back. Glad you took a minute to stop by mine. Visitors are always welcome.

Farscaper said...

That's too funny!
I find people's ring tones interesting. I heard something similar to that and HAD to look around to see WHO whould have such a sexy ringtone... SHOCKED to find a "little old lady" answering the racy song ring. I had a hard time holding in a giggle - after putting my eyes back into their sockets and picking my jaw off the floor.

I'll keep my standard - free - boring ringtone for now.

Lydia said...

Um, seriously?! Momma's ringtone is super classy.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And I'm excited to see where your "Taking Great Photos" series goes.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I am going to make that my ringtone for my mom.

Chrissy said...

Awww, Joey.... next time say its your DAD'S cell!. lol

Trevor said...

I don't know whether this is funny, or sad. Funny because of the ringtone, or sad because of the ringtone?

Mamma has spoken said...

Love the ring tone for that phone! Too bad I'm too frugal to get it ;o)
Had a cell phone go off in a third grade class that I was collabrating in. The teacher looked at me like,'are you going to leave and answer that?' but it wasn't my cell phone. It goes off again, and the teacher AND the assistant looked at me like 'come on and answer your phone!'but I shake my head no and tell her it's not mine (I turn mine off during the work day). The teacher asked whose cell phone was going off, no one answered. The third time it went off (in a 5 minute period) the teacher found it and answered it. Turns out that one of the students has a cell phone that the parents want her to have so that they can contact her whenever they needed to. The teacher reminded the parents not during school hours.

Erin Wallace said...

Funny! My Humps for a third grader?! And in the middle of literacy tests, even. Ha!

xo Erin

Rachel said...

Love Chrissy's comment. My sentiments exactly!

As I was reading this I thought, TF, you've missed your calling. You should have been an attorney! All I could think of was my Dad so many times over the years. Man! I couldn't get away with anything!

Shannon said...

Cheeseboy is on it - I would have totally answered that call. 'My Humps' for mom? So not cool...but maybe a 5th grader wouldn't realize that yet.

Michelle N Lurvey said...

Hey thanks for the post on my blog, I recongized your pic from CJANE. I have wondered if anybody would read my blog from her comments.
Thanks again
(my baby is a 2.8 70-200m L IS from canon, i dont let anybody touch it =)

Dallas and Kirsten said...

Not to name names, but do you remember a certain student by the name of Oliver!? I had to take his cell phone when the ringer "Ridin' Dirty" started playing in the middle of our read aloud...those were good times! Maybe one of the reasons he's still one of my favorite students I've ever had :) Great story.

Stef said...

What a great teacher! Seriously. Everyone knew he was busted, but you let showed some mercy! Nice!

Now, as for that song. What the heck is wrong with musicians these days? Seriously!! And why are we letting our kids listen to that smutt! (Did I just say smutt? Now I feel like 50 years old...not that there is anything wrong with being 50...)

Lydia said...

I love your Joey monents. You must laugh all day at school.

Carrie Stuart said...

Oh this post made me laugh SO hard! I am going to have that song stuck in my head all day now. A friend of mine used to have the Milkshake song as a ringtone for her sister. People are funny!

Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day...I can tell I'm going to enjoy reading yours. Today is the last day of school here. My youngest son is in 5th grade and he's had an AWESOME teacher (Mr. Johnson) and it just warms my heart to read about other awesome teachers. I'm hoping his British schoolboy get-up (ala AC/DC) went over as well as he hoped it would. He's been waiting for this. My kids are crazy.

Connie said...

Good job saving Joey's reputation! Interesting ring tone for his mom's call!

Teachinfourth said...

The funny thing was that it was really HIS phone. I don't know why he had his mom's ring set to that…perhaps it was his 'standard' ring for everybody.

No idea.

I figured that the very least I could do was to save a little piece of this boy's reputation.

Of course, the tone was still questionable...

Kathy V said...

I'm wondering what ring tone he has for his Dad?!?!

A college math teacher I know makes the owner of any cell phone that rings during class get up in front of the class and sing a song that the class choses.

Richard & Natalie said...

WOW. In 5th grade. I'm speechless.

Boy, does Joey owe you.

Lori said...

Lovely lady lumps, huh? gojoey, gojoey, gogogogojoey....

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