Room 26

Pin It I packed up my room.

No, not my bedroom…my classroom.

As the items which made this room their home for the past several years found their way into boxes and were stacked up in the back, I could see nearly a decade of my life being put away with it. I found myself confronted by similar feelings to which I imagine Kathleen Kelly, the character in You’ve Got Mail, must have felt when her bookstore was closing down.

“Soon [I’ll] just be a memory. In fact someone, some foolish person, will probably think it’s a tribute to this [school], the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something. I know, because that's the sort of thing I’m always saying. But the truth is; I’m heartbroken. I feel as if part of me has died, and no one can ever make it right.”

I know that this decision was mine and mine alone, however, how can one merely leave a place they’ve loved, had so many experiences in, and that has fundamentally changed their life?

You can’t.

I remember a friend of mine once saying, “You never truly leave a place you love. Part of it you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.”

It is at times like this that I question that statement. In time I will become nothing more than a faded memory…much like the faces of the past, those who’ve been a part of the school, but have faded into oblivion. Who knows these people now? Does anybody really care?

Such are the facedly-jaded moments of time which inevitably come to an end.

WE remember, but life does go on.

Today was hard and yet easy at the same time. We had graduation, photos were taken with students, and I found myself trying to prolong the inevitable…the closing down of the bookstore. As long as I was conversing with parents, having a photo taken with a student, or one of about a million other things, I was prolonging my time at the school which I’ve worked at for eight years.

However, like it inescapably does, the time came and then it passed. My life has been fundamentally changed and there is no going back. The items were moved, lights were turned off, farewells were spoken, and finally…the name plaque came down.

Room 26.

As I made ready to leave the room I found myself facing some writing left on the chalkboard by my students. It was with this that I felt a new emotion. I was not going to miss a room, but the people who made that room what it was. Like my longtime friend, Val Dixon, it is not her home which I love, but the family which make those four walls come to life.

A room is but a room.

I know that new adventures are waiting in the wings for their cue to take the center stage, but there is also a portion of my soul which dreads the change which the future is so eager to present to me.

“…my store is closing this week. I own a store. Did I ever tell you that? Probably not. It’s a lovely store—and in a week, it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. I am being amazingly brave — ”

Let it rain

Pin It My head is full of reflections tonight; these tumble about in my head like the crystalline rushing of a mountain stream over a bed of smoothly-worn stones of thought.

I’ve come to realize just that life is much too short to live in apprehension, cowering with the fear of rejection, and listening to the whining of that little incessant voice in the back of our minds which whispers, “You just can’t do it.”

Who’s to stop me?

Probably just me, after all, I’ve done it numerous times before. I’m good at it too…too good to be exact.

The waters rush on as I stare at my computer screen tonight. As I do, I realize that there will be so much more to consider in the waters, what with the oncoming of the rain in the distant mountains.

Luckily, I do have an umbrella.

Let it rain.

Time

Pin It Lately I’ve been feeling a bit sparse in my life as for time. I had a few phone calls over the past few days followed up with students or teachers needing to talk about something which may be on their mind…all of these items have demanded their fair share of my limited amounts of time. Each day I seem to find that my “in” box is increasing exponentially in size while the “out” box—the one the world may look at and judge me by—with very few items to show for my day in it.

However, as I look at these two boxes I ask myself, “Are the items in them really all that important?” Well, in reality the answer is yes…they are all things which I need to get done. However, which of these items carry with them the greatest value? Which items are the most important and will be treasured the most later, either by me or others?

When the phone rings and I feel that I have nothing left to offer, I find myself thinking…would I rather have a life where nobody called and I was always left alone, with unlimited amounts of time?

No, I would not.

An old friend of mine once said, “It is better to wear out than to rust out.” As I think of this I find myself grateful for the people who have need of the time which I give…not always can I give as much as I’d like, but it is these defining moments which help to make us who we are. Furthermore, there are others out there who do the exact same thing for me, even when these times may just be the slightest bit inconvenient and their own time may be limited.

So while the “in” box may just keep on giving, I realize that my greatest feeling of accomplishment is when I invest the majority of my time with those who carry the greatest worth.

Welcome to My Life

Pin It Updated 10/4/09 - I've added about 9 new songs into the 'tracklist' below..

Isn’t amazing that the people we meet we often only see one side of them? I remember going to my friends’ houses and their parents were always so much cooler than mine were. And yet, as I look back and think about this, I ask myself: Was that really the case?

I believe it is like this with many of the people we meet every day.

In my own life I have had people tell me that I am an amazing teacher, that I’m incredibly organized, and that I am such a funny person. As I listen to these things I think, Now, just who are you talking about here?

“Well, you’re never down, Teachinfourth. You’re always in a good mood.”

Boy, I’ve got you all faked out.

One thing I have come to realize is that every single one of us has our days. Sometimes some of these days are worse than others. How often have you put on a happy face and just tried to plow through? To make it to the end of the day when you can fall down on your bed and finally breathe out a sigh of relief because it’s finally over? Every single one of us had had our shares of worries, struggles, and heartaches too.

Yet, we try so often not to show others this part of ourselves.

Are there days when I don’t want to get out of bed? Absolutely! We all have these moments in our lives—sometimes more than others may have them. I was watching Sleepless in Seattle a while ago and I found myself really relating to a line Tom Hanks’ character says in the movie, “I’m going get out of bed every morning...breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out.”

I’ve felt like this before, haven’t you?

Sometimes I blast a song in my car…maybe you’re heard of it…Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan. There have been days I’ve cranked this song in my car and sang along with it. There’s something liberating about having a couple of songs like that which make you feel good inside or allow you to scream it all out. I do have several “feel good” songs too…a few songs which always seem to make me feel better when I’m down. Just a few of these songs are:

(By the way, I do not endorse any of the videos listed below (well, other than the last 4), but the songs are good. The first song does have two swear words which I have edited on my mp3, however, on YouTube, this is not the case).

You Get What You Give - The New Radicals
Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve
On A High – Duncan Shiek
Gotta Be – Des’ree
What are You Waiting For? – Lindsay Lohan
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
Unwritten - Natasha Beddingfield
First Time - Lifehouse
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
Break it Down Again - Tears for Fears
Swing Swing - All American Rejects
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
I Believe - Yolanda Adams
Save it for Later - Splender
Wonderful - Gary Go
This Side – Nickel Creek
The Riddle – Five for Fighting
Not Home Yet – Steven Curtis Chapman
Live Out Loud – Steven Curtis Chapman

But do you know something? When I really stop to think about it, I know what it really is that brings happiness to my life. It comes from the people around me. It is these individuals who see me—imperfections and all—and still love me anyhow. It is the people that I spend my time with—though limited it may be. It comes from the people I serve. Yes, these people are far from perfect, yet, so am I…so it’s a fair exchange, don’t you think?

Daylight Savings: 3, Zimmerman: 0

Pin It Ever had your tail kicked before?

I love the scene in “Rocky” where Sylvester Stallone is training and he runs up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. As I’ve watched this scene I’ve come to the realization that sometimes you’re Rocky…and sometimes you’re the steps. The past two days have been some of those “steps” days.

So, what is it that has taken me out of the ring? Who’s the boxer that’s given me the sucker-punch to the face? Who else could it be? None other than that dreaded day that only comes twice a year. You got it, Daylight Savings.

I hate it.

I know, hate is such a strong word, however, I believe I am justified in using it…after all, with the spring version of this day, we actually lose an hour…a whole hour! And just where does this precious sixty minutes go? Nobody knows…it’s just gone. People try to tell me not to worry and that we’ll get it back in another 6 months, but that is little consolation in the here and now. It’s like that old adage, “A burrito on your plate is worth two in the microwave.”

Well, I woke up yesterday morning—early. Something woke me up. I didn’t know what it was at first. After a few moments I realized that it was my roommate getting ready to leave for the day. I looked to my alarm clock, my trusty old Nokia “brick phone.” I have used this old reliable phone as an alarm clock for several years now since upgrading to something a little less bulky.

Like I was saying, I looked at my alarm clock and it read: “early-thirty.” Hmmmmm, that’s odd, why would my roommate be up so early on a Sunday? He didn’t usually get up for another hour or so. I grabbed my cell phone and looked at the display. What? The time was different…it was not-so-early-thirty. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs…the clock on the microwave and the oven both read early-thirty. Hmmmm…something was afoot here.

I was feeling pretty confused as I turned on my laptop, because that one clock in the house was different…whoa, hold the phone, my laptop time was messed up too! I then turned on my iPod and checked the time on it…early-thirty. Okay, who had messed with my computer and cell phone? Was this some elaborate hoax?

Well, suffice it to say that I was totally confused and finally went online and typed in, “current time, Utah.” This is what I got:

UTAH, US — Current local time: Not-so-early:30 AM on Sunday, March 9

Well, to make what might be a more interesting tale somewhat less drawn out, I finally figured out that it was actually not-so-early-thirty and it was getting not-so-earlier by the minute. After jump-starting my muscles, I was finally able to get things rolling and was only behind one hour…the whole day.

Fast forward 10:00—or 11:00—Sunday night, (depending on how you look at it).

I was entering students’ grades when I realized that it was getting late. At about 10:20 I decided that I had better get to bed so I could wake up for work the next day. As I looked at the display on my computer I realized that I’d forgotten to change the time on my kitchen clocks…it was nearly 11:30! I quickly shut down my computer, brushed my teeth, and jumped into bed, willing myself to immediately fall asleep, while the whole time thinking about the fact that it was nearly midnight and I’d be getting up a whole hour earlier than usual…I’d be getting up at 5:00. I looked at my alarm clock several times, it passed midnight. I was in for it.

I probably fell asleep, and I am pretty sure the alarm must’ve gone off later sometime this morning. In fact, I am positive of that fact even though I woke up and just laid there. What time was it anyway? It was so dark and I felt like I’d been steamrolled.

I just laid there.

Finally, I forced myself to get up and get ready, thinking of my students at school waiting for me. Well, by the time I got out of my house it was 8:00—by somebody’s time. I arrived at school about 10 minutes before it started…zero energy. Luckily, my students were completely drained as well and the morning hours were very serene. I wanted to laugh about it, but I have to be honest…I was much too tired to laugh, I thought I’d probably fall down.

It is now 7:00, Daylight Savings Time, and I wanted to rewrite this blog so it sounded funny, but to be honest, I’m too tired. I’m going to bed now.

Daylight Savings: 4, Zimmerman: 0