Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Moments with Joey – The Wasp

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, CLASSROOM. Several students remain in the classroom working on missing homework assignments. The teacher is helping a young boy on a math worksheet. After working a few problems with the teacher, the boy looks up.

JOEY: Mr. Z?

TEACHER: What’s up, Joey?

JOEY: I got stung by a wasp…seventeen times.

TEACHER: Seventeen times?

[The boy nods and sets his pencil down].

JOEY: Yep. He stung me here [points to back], here [points to neck], here [points to arms], and here [points to chest].

TEACHER: Wow, I’m just amazed that you stood there and let it sting you that many times. That’s probably not the smartest thing you’ve ever done…

JOEY: No, I didn’t just stand there, I was running away, but he chased me and kept stinging me…seventeen times!

TEACHER: Seventeen times? Maybe there was more than one wasp; maybe he was attacking you with his wasp gang.

[The boy shakes his head adamantly].

JOEY: Nope, he was the only one.

TEACHER: What did you do to make him mad? Make fun of his mom?

[The boy gives a sorrowful nod and fakes Bambi eyes].

TEACHER: Well, that explains everything. You totally got what you deserved. If I were a wasp and you made fun of my mom, I’d have stung you, too.

JOEY: Seventeen times?

TEACHER: Eighteen

[Fade to black].

25 comments:

Chrissy said...

LOL, way to go, teach!. From now on Joey will look at you w/that look kids give when they aren't quite sure what to make of people who have one upped them...Glad u didn't get too descriptive after mentioning '18'...

onlyoublog said...

Glad they are still that adorable in the 5th grade!

Richard & Natalie said...

You two have all the fun.
(I can totally picture his face and Bambi eyes- priceless.)

Rachel said...

I think my mom was a wasp.....because I distinctly remember many times growing up, feeling her stinging me on the bum time and time again. I'm with Joey. It can be only one wasp. :)

Natasha said...

Hilarious! What a great teacher you are! Good thing he wasn't allergic.

Cheeseboy said...

I swear that happened to me when I was a kid, but I am pretty sure it was a gang. They were wearing blue bandannas and throwing signs.

Kelly said...

Wow! 17 times? It's amazing he lived to tell the tale.

Don't mess with an angry bee with mother issues.

tiburon said...

I freakin love Joey. He is a keeper.

ALMOST makes me want to be a 5th grade teacher...then I wake up.

Oh, and one time I stepped on a bee hive and they all swarmed me and I did get stung a whole bunch of times. I don't think it was 17 though. It will never top the time I got stung on my hoo haw though... (one sting there is TOTALLY equal to 17 elsewhere...)

Just SO said...

That's right. There's no talking bad about moms...wasps or no.

Although wasps are evil. Poor Joey.

Kristina P. said...

This made me snort. Kids are hilarious. And then they become teenagers and I have to teach anger management to them.

I think you and Cheeseboy must be BFFs. Manly ones, of course.

Mamma has spoken said...

Can a wasp really sting 17 times? Seems like the stinger would fall off after so many times. Hey, make Joey look it up and let me know what he finds out ;o)

Ally said...

That's so cute. I love it. You must come home with awesome stories every day.

FourthGradeNothing.com

Connie said...

Wasps are evil and they can sting until they decide they need to find something else to fill their time. Poor kid. He'll learn to to diss a mom!

Teachinfourth said...

C - There have been plenty of times where I've been 'one-upped' as well.

O - They are still pretty okay at this point.

N - Since you know Joey, it's pretty easy to 'see' the expressions, isn't it?

R - I think that there are times when we can all be wasps.

N - No kidding, that would have been terrible.

C - Probably the same gang still hanging around.

K - I was surprised when he told me that, too. I still wonder if it were really seventeen…

T - This is one boy I'll really hate to see move on at the end of the year. Good thing he's given me quite a bit of material…enough to last the summer.

S - I agree about the evilly of wasps. I personally hate them.

K - Good thing that Joey doesn't have issues like that. If you were to meet him in real life, I think you'd really like him. As Tib said, he's a keeper…

B - I really should because it seemed a bit far-fetched; however, it was so funny that I decided not to press the issue.

A - There are some days when I come home with more than one…

C - I couldn't agree more; wasps ARE evil.

criticalcrass said...

hey. thanks for stopping by picky and leaving it some love. that was awful nice of you.

i hope you find the box that's hiding.

and THANKS for the joey moment. i was going through withdrawal. :]

Joann Mannix said...

What an adorable little guy and so adorable of you to make fun. Just kidding!

I volunteer every week with the 6th graders at the local middle school. Still, at that age, they are sweet and endearing just like that.

Oh and I live in a big patch of woods and one day my husband discovered this enormous wasp nest that grew from the ground up and was taller than our children. He called up our state wildlife services and they came out and estimated there were about 50,000 wasps in this nest. Someone alerted the local news shows and they came out to take a look and our wasp nest was on the evening news. Dang Gummit, we are famous folks thanks to our wasps! The trappers came out and smoked them out and killed them, so no more horror movie nests around these parts.

Maggie May said...

I actually was stung 17 (or more) times as a kid, because I was showing off to a boy that I had 'animal superpowers' and grabbed a handful of wasps. It's amazing I"m still alive, being that stupid. ;)

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

I was attacked by a swarm when I was 9. But only because I was laughing at the noises another kid was making while being stung by 3 wasps on his arm. If I were allergic, I'd be dead. Yikes! Mom stopped counting the bites/stings at 20. It was gruesome.

But this explains it. The wasps thought I was laughing at their mom. Heh.

Robin said...

haaa...and Im the eighteenth comment..Wooo Hoo....Wow you teachers get to have all the fun...!!!...very cute..!

Teachinfourth said...

C - I hope I find it, too.

J - I think the world of a lot of my students…Joey is a hoot.

As for the wasp infestation you had, holy cow; I couldn't even begin to imagine a nest that size.

M - Animal superpowers? I'd like to have some of those…something tells me that you really didn't have them after all?

Isn't it amazing the things we'll do to impress a member of the opposite sex?

L - Well, I guess it's possible in Joey's case then, isn't it? Hopefully you learned your lesson about 'trash talking' wasp moms though…

R - I feel fortunate that I happen to have this boy in my class. He is a laugh riot on a regular basis.

Tree said...

Ouch!! I remember getting stung alot when I was little....but I wasn't making fun of their mommy, just stepping on them while running around barefoot in the grass. LOL Glad Joey wasn't allergic...that could've been a disaster!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Poor Joey. Some kids just gotta learn the hard way not to make fun of mommys.

Omgirl said...

I hope you write all such conversations down. In your old age, you'll read them and laugh, laugh, laugh. Kids are so great.

VKT said...

This is too funny. I guess Joey will think twice before trying to pull one over on his teacher. Sounds like you are a terrific teacher and really enjoy your kids. WTG teach

Gerb said...

I have hated plastic Sesame Street finger puppets ever since the day I was stung multiple times on my pointer finger by a satanic wasp which was hiding in the Big Bird finger puppet I left out on the lawn overnight.

I feel Joey's pain. You should have offered him a band-aid.

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