SCENE 1, EXTERIOR. AFTERNOON, PLAYGROUND. Most of the class is playing on the playground equipment with the exception of one fifth-grade boy. The boy is following his teacher around as the teacher watches his students go down the slide, traverse the monkey bars, or attempt parkour. All the while, the boy is chatting incessantly. After several minutes of relentless talk, the teacher moves to the bench to sit down, the boy quickly slips under him and then starts to giggle.
TEACHER: What are you doing? Are you trying to be a chair?
[The boy continues to laugh as the teacher sits down next to him.]
JOEY: I want to do something.
TEACHER: So go do something.
[Pause.]
JOEY: I want to play a game.
TEACHER: So go play a game.
[Pause.]
JOEY: I want to play a game with you.
[The teacher looks at the boy, and then at the rest of the class playing on the equipment before answering in a quiet voice.]
TEACHER: There’s only one game I know how to play...and it’s awesome.
JOEY: [Breathlessly] Really? What game is that?
TEACHER: The game’s called...‘Be Mean to Joey.”
[The boy looks a trifle concerned.]
JOEY: How do you play it?
[The teacher looks around and notices the wood chips on the playground.]
TEACHER: Well, first you find a boy named Joey, and then fill his underwear with wood chips. After that you roll him around all over the ground…it’s pretty fun.
[There is a pause as the boy looks at his teacher.]
JOEY: But I don’t wear underwear, Mr. Z.
[Pause.]
TEACHER: That’s a little bit too much information there, Joey…going commando.
JOEY: No, I wear boxers.
TEACHER: Oh, so you’re a fighter?
[The boy bursts out laughing.]
JOEY: So, can we play a game?
[Fade to black.]
Oh, and I did post yesterday over at Four Perspectives.
16 comments:
Thank you for making me laugh!!! I definitely needed that tonight!
You are too funny! : )
When I was in elementary school I could NOT wait to have a man teacher. There were 2 of them in the 6th grade. Mr. Frazier and Mr. Paul. Mr. Frazier was super old...like 35 or 36. Mr. Paul was super young. Like 24 or 25. He was the cool one. You know which one I got, right? The un cool one. Darn it! It turned out ok. I have some very funny memories of that man.
Boxers or briefs, you gotta love that Joey!
Joey definitely has one over on ya! LOL
Thanks for making me laugh and turning my frown this morning into a smile.
I thought of you today when I dropped Connor of and saw all the kids hanging around (and onto) one of the teachers. Sure sign of a good teacher.
Ha! So boxers aren't underwear? What about a thong? What's that considered?
That is quite the game you've devised. I'll have to try it sometime (or maybe I'll just use my imagination... that might be safer and less painful). :)
That was awesome.
That was awesome.
Cheeseboy and a thong.....good one.
I think schools need more male teachers,
so little boys can talk about commando. (tee,hee)
You should have tried the "Quiet Game."
Going commando...... thank heavens that he really had something on
Poor Joey, he really doesn't get it, does he? Wondering if he's the one the other students don't play with as much, and if he is it makes me love him all the more.
Oh that Joey!
I don't know how you manage to teach without just laughing all day.
Cheese boy, that would be dental floss.......
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