Thursday, February 9, 2012

Moments with Joey - Defense Mechanisms

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. MORNING. CLASSROOM. The teacher has just called up his second reading group. Five kids get up from their desks and move over to sit at the kidney-shaped table as the teacher passes out their books on reptile defenses. As the kids open their books, the teacher begins a discussion on some of the defenses they read about the day before.

TEACHER: So what defense have you guys been the most impressed with so far?

GIRL 1: I think that having poisoned fangs is a great way to protect yourself.

GIRL 2: Yeah, that’s probably the best protection.

BOY 1: The camouflage of some lizards and snakes is pretty cool.

BOY 2: It’s weird that some lizards’ tails come off so they can get away.

JOEY: I love the lizard that shoots blood out of its eyes; it’s awesome!

[There is a pause for about two seconds before the boy starts to make squirting noises and pantomimes liquid shooting out of both of his eyes. The entire table is silent for a beat; the other students and the teacher all look wordlessly at the boy.]

TEACHER: Joey, that is so creepy.

JOEY: You know what, Mr. Z? It sure would be cool if you could do that, too.

TEACHER: What, shoot blood out of my eyes?

JOEY: Yeah, but pepper spray!

TEACHER: Now why in the world would I want to do something like that?

JOEY: Well, you know…to spray the bad kids in class.


TEACHER: I think I’d prefer anti-kid juice.

JOEY: [Nodding] And then you’d spray the whole class with it, right?


TEACHER: Nope. I think I’d need it for only one student, Joey.

Fade to black.


Mamma has spoken said...

Ah Joey needs to watch the video of the guy shooting corn out of his eyes!

mCat said...

anti-kid juice! There has to be a market for that somewhere

wendy said...

That Joey is one in a million. He is brilliant really. IMAGINATION overload
I've told you this before
but I could swear, it is almost as if you are writing about my 10 year old grandson.
I just shake my head and smile at these stories.

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