SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON. CLASSROOM. The students are completing up a team persuasive writing assignment. The finished groups are instructed to practice reading their picture books aloud with voices and expression. The teacher begins to set up a computer review on magnetism; a boy approaches the teacher with his jaw shifted sideways and his head tilted slightly to one side.
JOEY: Mr. Z?
TEACHER: What’s up, Joey?
JOEY: Would you pull my tooth out?
TEACHER: [Surprised] Excuse me? Did you just ask me to pull out one of your teeth?
[The boy nods his head; he stares at the teacher with a serious expression].
JOEY: It’s all wiggly and it bothers me; it hurts. This one here. [The boy opens his mouth and points to the lower right lateral that he starts to move with his finger].
TEACHER: And you want me to pull it out?
[The boy nods his head jerkily].
JOEY: Yeah. You could use those pliers in the supply closet if you wanted to…
TEACHER: I don’t know…I’d really have to have your parent’s permission before I started yanking all your teeth out.
JOEY: Could you give me the pliers and I could do it myself?
TEACHER: Joey, those aren’t pliers, they’re wire cutters.
JOEY: Would they still work?
TEACHER: Probably not, that is unless your teeth were made of wire.
JOEY: So you won’t do it?
TEACHER: Sorry, I just can’t start pulling our your teeth without a note from your parents saying that I’m allowed to do it…after all, what if I yanked the tooth and your brains came spilling out or something?
JOEY: That wouldn’t happen. I haven’t had brains for a long time…
TEACHER: Even so, I still need permission. Sorry.
SCENE 2, INTERIOR. MORNING. CLASSROOM. The students are working on the morning self-starter via the Promethean board. As the bell rings, Joey walks in. He sees the teacher at the back of the classroom and hurries up to him, grinning.
TEACHER: So, did you bring the note?
JOEY: Nope, I don’t need to because my tooth is out now! [The boy points to the vacant place in his mouth where the loose tooth used to be].
TEACHER: What happened?
JOEY: Well, I decided to pull it out myself last night.
TEACHER: Wow, so how’d you do it?
JOEY: I decided to use the toaster.
TEACHER: A toaster?
[Joey begins to talk animatedly as he reenacts the entire episode from the night before].
JOEY: I tied a loop on a piece of string and THEN hooked it around my tooth; THEN I tied the other end of the string to our old toaster…the one that doesn’t work anymore. THEN I stood at the top of the stairs and threw the toaster down them!
[The teachers instinctively puts his hand to his mouth, horror-struck].
TEACHER: So your tooth came out I imagine?
JOEY: [grinning]. Yeah, it flew right out, and it jerked me forward a bit…but I didn’t fall down the stairs though.
TEACHER: Well, thank goodness for that.
JOEY: Yeah, but now my tooth is out, and it feels a lot better.
TEACHER: So now your tooth is ‘toast’?
[The boy starts laughing hysterically—after a moment he becomes somber yet again].
JOEY: Yep, toast…with jam.
TEACHER: [Sighing, trying to seem disappointed]. Well, still I wish you’d have brought that note.
JOEY: Tell you what, Mr. Z, you can pull out the next one.
TEACHER: If only I could be so lucky…
[Fade to black.]
20 comments:
Keep them coming...your Humor rocks!
That has to be the most creative way I have ever head of to take out one's tooth. Creative students you have...
There are times I wish that teeth only came out certain times of the year, like summer. You know like how deer loose their antlers only during the spring, I want students to only be able to loose their teeth in the summer, when school's not in. Yep I've had a lot of tooth problems at work too....
When is this blasted movie coming out? I'm waiting already!!
Oh how I love this story about Joey. I have 3 sons that are relatively close in age, and I have often been the designated tooth puller...I would have gladly sent the note!!
You know, if you had pulled the tooth out for him you probably could have claimed a portion of whatever the tooth fairy left him.
With a whole class full of kids, you could make a bit of money for your Reese's addiction...
A toaster?! What will Joey think of next?
(PS- I Love Gerb's comment.)
Oh Joey! :)
S - I have several which just need to be posted...I don't want my blog to be nothing but school experiences, you know. Rest assured though, he will be back again soon.
L - That's what I was thinking, too. I don't know as if I'd let a kid throw a toaster down a set of stairs, but to each his own.
B - Autumn teeth? I like the sounds of that...
L - It's great to see these all unfold in real life, though some of them tend to be much funnier later when I have a chance to allow myself to laugh at them.
S - It's a dirty job...
G - I was thinking the same thing. Could this be my 'cash cow'?
N - Amen.
C - I'm sure you have a lot of similar experiences with your motley crew as well. I can almost see Max saying something of this sort.
And I thought they only talked about doing that kinda thing in the movies!
That's awesome!!!
I hate pulling my kids teeth. It creeps me out! Maybe next time I should just get her teacher to do it, thanks for the tip.
I LOVE yanking out The Native's teeth. Anytime I see a kid with a snaggle tooth I beg them to let me yank it!
Levi, "My toof is gone. I took it out. Then the fairy took it, and turned to money."
Comparing the above two....who's the one with special needs? The 'handicapped' one? Yeah! That's what I thought. I wonder if it's enough to get me a blue special parking thingy to hang from my mirror........
T - So did I. Now we both know that this type of thing is really real.
FS - It really kind of surprised me, to be honest.
S - Make sure you send the note...
R - I think you could get one...I also think that you would get a kick out of this: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rmc0052l.jpg
:D That is funny!!
That is a funny one! I always love your Joey stories.
Just reading these stories about Joey makes me want to be a teacher. Do you think if I did I could be so lucky as to have a "Joey" come into my life??
Can't stop laughing!
Dying laughing...
I actually DID pull a student's tooth once - her mother came at the end of the day and begged me to just do it (apparently the kid had spilled the beans about my dental assisting days...)
She actually brought the daughter back for 3 or 4 tooth pulls until I moved away when she was in 2nd grade... now she has to use the toaster method :)
That's cool that you were the designated 'tooth puller' for awhile there…almost sad when it ends, I'll bet.
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