Tackling the beast

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I walked into the room and was blown away from the sight which greeted my querying eyes; I quite simply couldn’t believe the state of the area. It was a mess. I couldn’t remember leaving it in such a disconsolate condition; however, I’d jetted out in a flurry and headed out to a Hurculean summer of impossible goodbyes and cross-country exploits that it was entirely possible.

I had not been to that the classroom for the duration of the entire summer. More so, since the custodial staff had moved everything sitting on the floor in order to clean carpets and wax floors, the room was unequivocally declared as a scene of national disaster.

I felt like crumpling down in a mass of overwhelmedness and just letting the room trample over me; I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Please, just let it be fixed.” I thought, wishing that it would indeed be magically put back together the way I envisioned when I opened them, like something Professor Dumbledore had done in the most current Harry Potter movie.

But alas, Hogwarts my classroom is not

I couldn’t cast a spell to take away the heaps of papers and piles of boxes which had gathered from the other teachers leaving my team last year; and I had no potion to sort out the remaining odds and ends left by students which had mysteriously magicked themselves onto my desk—all in all which made it look more like a demilitarized zone in office warfare.

I had none of these resources at my disposal.

At this point I have to ask, have you ever noticed how being depressed and complaining never solved any problems? How it never accomplished anything? How it never actually made you feel any better? Well, not in the long term?

My point exactly.

So instead I set my iPod (I seem to do this a lot, don’t I?) to a favorite playlist, and as an alternative to complaining, set to work.

As I gazed about the room, I remembered something my good friend, Jaqs, had once said; something to the effect of, “Start off by doing whatever it is that will make it look like the most difference has been made with the littlest of effort.”

This was good advice as I spent the next six hours salvaging, sorting, organizing, moving, deciding, redeciding, resorting, and finally, standing back and appraising.

So, is my classroom ready?

No.

Is closer to being done?

Absolutely.

However, I still have two days to work on it; forty-eight hours to tackle this beast and make it appear that I am the teacher who completely has it all together.

Bring it on.

This, is magic.

The Escape

Pin It It was last weekend.

I was getting ready for Christmas in September when I found the two balloons I’d purchased for my sister’s birthday still hovering about the house. It amazed me, it was nearly two weeks after I’d purchased them; they both had life in them…life enough to still be airborne.


Well, knowing that birthday balloons were not really the style for the event we had coming up, I decided to pop them. The brightly-colored one was the first to go—after all, it was still in the kitchen and tethered to a gift bag; however, before I could get to the second balloon—the green star—my sister arrived and the balloon, somehow having gotten close to the door, made a lunge for freedom.

Needless to say, it had plenty of strength to make a quick getaway, and before I knew it, it had soared up into the heavens and soon disappeared from sight.

As I stood on the ground below, watching this balloon slowly rise higher and higher, I thought how this balloon was like—and unlike—me. I thought of those things each day I encounter which are bent on destroying my spirit.

When I say ‘spirit’ I am talking about either a destruction of self-esteem, or even an eternal soul.

The ways this destruction can come about are vast and unnumbered, and there have been many times when I find myself deflated and punctured—lying in a crumbled heap upon the floor—like balloon number one. These are usually from the times when I am clinging to people, places, or things which are unhealthy. Those things which are bent on deflating, tethering, and keeping me on the ground.

But as I watched this balloon I thought of how, if I’m really trying, I can ‘escape’ all of these things and rise above them—to a safe place where they cannot harm.

However, I have to be ready to leave them behind and rise above when the door is opened and the opportunity presents itself.

From there, I’ll let the winds carry me.

Vacation - Monday: Rain and goodbyes

Pin It As I sat on the porch swing, it started to rain. Not merely a sprinkle or drizzle...it was hard. The rain was coming down in sheets, and there were occasional flashes of lighting which ignited the darkened skies, like flashbulbs of a vintage camera. I sat there, enjoying it all when suddenly, the entire Monk family rushed outside to take pleasure in the downpour along with me.

As we were sitting there watching, the smell of moisture washed over us all like the aroma of freshly-baked cookies on a cold, wintery day. Splays of water would blow over the deck, showering us all with a fine, refreshing mist.

I noticed my friend’s grandson (I’ll call him Raymond); he was looking out longingly at the rain for quite some time. Suddenly, he stood and announced, “I’m going to go put on my swimsuit and play.”

Within minutes, Raymond was outside in the peltering storm, and enjoying all of the glories it afforded. As this little boy ran back and forth through the large puddles in the driveway (or small lakes) I noticed adults on the street who quickly made their way back to their homes, trying to avoid getting wet during their afternoon walks. They cowered under umbrellas, or ran quickly down the street taking shelter under trees; none of them strolled along, enjoying this magnificent gift from heaven.

As I watched Raymond frolic about as he scampered I took out my camera and began to shoot. There is nothing more innocent and inspiring to me as watching the simple pleasures of life around us…these free little moments in time we are given each day. The wealthiest king and the lowliest of peasants can enjoy these glorious moments in time. To us all they cost the same…nothing.

We, as adults, need to relearn some of the simple joys in life…things like playing in the rain; blowing dandelion seeds to the winds; walking barefoot on thick carpets of gnarled grass.

We once knew all of these simple joys in life, why is it that we have allowed ourselves to forget them? Why do we ground ourselves for so long?

To help myself re-remember these more simple of joys, I have decided to start a fast of sorts from technology. I have decided that, at least for a few days, I will not use the computer, Internet, or cell phone.

I have somebody I need to find.

I know what you’re thinking… “Hey, what about your camera?” No, the camera is good, after all, there is somebody I’m looking for...

See you in a few days.

Writing update - There's a lot to do

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Whoa…

I just read over a BUNCH of information about becoming a published author, and there is a LOT more to it than I originally thought!

Author Rick Walton said: “If people really knew how much work it takes to be a successful writer, most people would never start.”

I must say that I am inclined to agree. Now, does this mean that I am giving up? Of course not! However, does it mean that I still have a lot to do?

Yes.

I guess you could say that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed tonight, and wondering if it will ever really happen…if it does, great. If it doesn’t, it hasn’t happened yet, and I am still alive, right?

I think that I would be able to continually to survive this as well.

No more tonight…but thanks for reading.

All 8 of you.

Let it rain

Pin It My head is full of reflections tonight; these tumble about in my head like the crystalline rushing of a mountain stream over a bed of smoothly-worn stones of thought.

I’ve come to realize just that life is much too short to live in apprehension, cowering with the fear of rejection, and listening to the whining of that little incessant voice in the back of our minds which whispers, “You just can’t do it.”

Who’s to stop me?

Probably just me, after all, I’ve done it numerous times before. I’m good at it too…too good to be exact.

The waters rush on as I stare at my computer screen tonight. As I do, I realize that there will be so much more to consider in the waters, what with the oncoming of the rain in the distant mountains.

Luckily, I do have an umbrella.

Let it rain.

Resolutions and Mistakes

Pin It Boy, I’ve made a lot of these in my life.

It seems that I continually make the same mistakes over and over again, and never quite seem to learn my lesson. Sort of like the character, Bruce, in Bill Peet’s book: Big Bad Bruce. Even though there are consequences to this bear’s actions, he just doesn’t learn his lesson.

This is me. But am I doing any better than I was before in my areas of weakness?

I was thinking recently about Jack Marshall. He is a man I heard speak of endorsing yourself for efforts you make in your life; not only the successes. He said, “We oftentimes gauge a failure or success by the outcome, not looking at the efforts involved. Efforts, many times, therein is the success…I’ll call them “part acts.” We make resolutions…yet we often feel that we blow them. We fail to see the part acts, our efforts. If we would look at these, we would have greater hope.”

He went on to talk about the times we make resolutions…resolutions to try harder, to do better, to be better. He said we need to acknowledge and endorse our partial acts. If we resolve to lose weight, then if we eat one less chocolate-chip cookie, we are indeed doing better.

A few years ago I was talking to a friend of mine about how I had only gone to the gym for about 20 minutes, did a quick workout, and then left for the rest of the day. I felt terrible because I hadn’t stayed longer. To this she so wisely replied, “Twenty minutes is more than you were doing before, which was nothing, right?

I firmly believe that we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. If everything we want to accomplish does not get done, this is okay. We just need to be doing better than we were before…endorsing ourselves for every effort, not just our successes…

Mother Theresa was asked by a newspaper reporter (when she was going to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for her humanitarian efforts) why she worked so hard with the impoverished…the reporter said that there will never really be an end to poverty and therefore, her work would never really end. To this, Mother Theresa said, “We are not called to be successful in all things; we are called to be faithful in all things.”

As I shut down my computer, my list of things to do today is not yet done, and yet, I am going to bed.

Good job, me.

Hinckley Viewing

Pin It I drove up to Salt Lake City on Friday the 1st of January. As I did, I felt an overwhelming urge to attend President Gordon B. Hinckley’s viewing at the Conference Center. I drove around Salt Lake until I found a spot to park my car...five blocks or so from my destination. I began to walk, pulling my jacket up around my neck as I greeted the bitter cold gusts of wind. I was alone as I walked and thought of this great man, this prophet of God.

As I neared the Conference Center I found myself in the midst thousands of people who were also there to bid their final farewells to the man who’d made such a great difference in their lives. As I began to walk past the lines circling the building in order to find myself a place in it, I overheard one of the men on duty explaining to the line, “From here, you’re looking at two hours outside and then two more once you get in the building.”

I stood, watching my breath drifting in the air before me and talked on my cell phone to my dad. As I told him about the four hour wait and needing to get up to the Tremonton area, he responded with this:

“You know...if President Hinckley were permitted to speak from beyond, he’d tell you to go, saying something to the effect of: ‘My brothers and sisters, I appreciate and am flattered by your diligence and resolve, standing here in lines around the conference center for my viewing, however, it is much too cold. Please go home. The best way in which you could honor me is to live lives which reflect the life of our Savior, even Jesus Christ. Be the best person you can possibly be.’ ”

It was after this thought that I walked to the nearly-deserted grounds of Temple Square. It was strangely quiet and there were no crowds. I did an awful lot of thinking about the Prophet as I passed the granite walls of the temple. I thought of his words…those he’d given on numerous occasions.:

“You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others.”

“Let us all try to stand a little taller, rise a little higher, be a little better. Make the extra effort. You will be happier. You will know new satisfaction, a new gladness in your heart.”

I hope that we can all incorporate these words into our lives.

Living off of yesterday

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I was thinking tonight of the years that I have been alive on this earth. I thought of the people whom I’ve met...some good, and some bad. I found myself becoming reflective as I thought of the role I’ve played while living here, taking up a little corner of the space. As I pondered, I came to the sudden realization that though sometimes good is really indeed good, great is really a much better thing. It isn’t good enough to simply be good for just one day, it isn’t enough to put in effort for only a few minutes...to really be—and mean—something, it needs to last.

It was Louis L'Amour who at one time said; “A ship does not sail with yesterday's wind.”

A friend of mine recently asked me, “Are you committed? Are you willing to do it?” I find her words echoing in my head more often than usual lately, which is strange in itself as I usually can’t even remember what I had for breakfast the day before.