Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Visitor - Oddities, Grims, & Bangles...Oh, My!

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I was in the midst of teaching my fifth grade class about the proper way of going about presenting literature responses when the visitor arrived, pushing her way through the classroom door, amid a spangled array of baubles and bangles. She stood for a moment, blinking from behind her thick spectacles and wild tangles of disarrayed hair.

I at first assumed that she was a parent who’d come in for her child’s birthday and the student had failed to inform me of this paltry little detail, so I stepped aside and allowed her the opportunity to present the class with her child’s treats; however, it didn’t take me long to realize that this was not the case whatsoever.

The visitor soon began to utter with ethereal-like tones as she beckoned the students toward the floor in front of her, and commenced to make predictions of the future, mutter incantations, and gabble on and on about something called a grim as she gazed at the ‘portents’ of the leftover dregs of her afternoon coffee break.

The class decided that it was best to humor her; they were polite, answered her questions, and were even willing to nod in agreement at some of her pronouncements of being late and other forecasts that nobody could ever know about occurring.

I snapped a photo or two of this crazy lady to send down to the principal in the event that she were an escaped lunatic or something from the local nut factory. I can only assume so, and I was glad that none of my students were harmed as she whipped her shawls about her and made a dramatic exit out the door, muttering time and time again that my class needed to protect me that crazy grim-thing…

Heavens, I can only wonder why my classroom seems to be a magnet for these types; after all, this isn’t the first time that an occurrence like this has taken place. Why only last year there was some gal by the name of Stargirl who wandered into my classroom, and the year before we were exposed to a truly horrific woman by the name of Spiker. Perhaps even more odd was my first year at this new school when we met a woman I'll simply call Donna because the name she went by was far too long to try to write.

I have only one thing to conclude…my classroom is most certainly becoming flypaper for freaks.

Now I just wish I could get rid of this big, mangy dog that keeps following me everywhere I go…I think it’s a stray.

18 comments:

Holly said...

LOL. that's awesome!

Shawna said...

Your visitor appears to me mostly harmless, but I would buy that "dog" off with a thick t-bone steak asap!

Kalei's Best Friend said...

At first I wondered if 'she' was a 'she'... 'she' looked a little mannish... if u know what I mean.. (oops)

Life with Kaishon said...

You have the most fantastic classroom! Love it!

Stacey said...

Man - I wish my son could be in your class...he would have flipped out! Oh to have a teacher that has connections with the infamous Professor Trelawny...

Rachel said...

I. Love. Your visitor. P.S. Her predictions came true. Henny Penny was late.......

M-Cat said...

Flypaper for freaks! Loving that...
and post a pic of the dog so I can fall in love wouldja?

Connie said...

What a fun way to teach the kids about literature responses...or whatever it was!

Gerb makes it memorable.

Mamma has spoken said...

You have the nack of attracting the weirdest vistors.
Thank goodness for a wonderful friend who agrees to do this for you every year. She is gold.

Mindy said...

Hey... think she'll travel south of the canyon??? (lol)

So much fun, Mr. Z.

What a great lesson...

Miss K said...

My class would get a kick out of her! I have always thought of trying something like that myself, but haven't yet, although, I do speak in accents to get their attention and make them pay attention.

Richard & Natalie said...

Some teachers/classes have all the luck.
And some people have thee coolest friends...

Karen Peterson said...

Did you bottle up what this visitor said and stick it on a shelf? It could be important later.

Cherie said...

I bet the kids loved her visit!
She kind of looks like that one teacher in the Harry Potter movies.

Simple Girl said...

And at what school did you say you teach......? :-) Kudos to the kids for using their best manners!

Simple Girl said...

And at what school did you say you teach......? :-) Kudos to the kids for using their best manners!

Presley family said...

LOVE it!!!!!

Rebecca said...

That's a great shot! Rebecca

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