Gluttony 101 - Or Lack Thereof (The RPBC Story)

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I’m convinced that the world would be a much better place if there were more peanut butter.

Really.

What else is there that brings such supernal happiness and joy to the world?

Nothing.

It all started out about a week ago when a certain someone—whom I’ll choose to let remain anonymous so as to protect their identity (for the sake of this post let’s call her, ‘Rachel’)—brought a nondescript paper bag into my classroom and put it on my desk. All in all, it was very much like the drop-off. “You leave the money and I’ll get you the goods.” Very cloak-and-daggery.

Upon the completion of the school day I remembered the bag I’d seen ‘Rachel’ put on my desk. I was soon to discover that it contained a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup heart—a large, 5-ounce monstrosity made of pure, unadulterated goodness.

Intending to only sample a small portion, I opened the package and took a tiny bite. It was wonderful. It was practically teeming with moist, peanut-buttery goodness enveloped in a cocoon of love.

Can I just share here that I love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? Mind you, this is only so long as they aren’t outdated…old RPBCs are just about the nastiest things in existence; I put these akin to the Whitman Samplers where one is taking their taste buds on a kamikaze mission with every piece in the box. With these it’s always one of two things: gross or grosser. I’d rather gargle glass—great, big shards of it with pointy edges.

But this post is not about glass garglage, but about Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. One small taste led to another, and before I knew it, the Reeses heart had been completely consumed—much to my dismay.

I ventured to the local supermarket, hoping to find another that would be reasonably priced.

Nearly $5? I think not.

I decided that I’d wait until after the holiday in order to pick one up for a steal. Therein lay my mistake. You see, I’d intended to go out at the earliest possible hour—before the scavengers swooped in with their biddy, clutching fingers, and heaped their carts to brimming with after-holiday goodness.

The vultures.

Unfortunately, I was working on my photography website last night—far into the early morning hours. When I finally crashed, I slept in later than I’d anticipated. It wasn’t until sometime in the early afternoon that I even remembered my mission.

Racing to the nearest store, I encountered a great, big, steaming pile of nothing.

Over the course of the next three hours—and eight different grocery stores—I came up empty-handed. I realized that I’d made the cardinal mistake that I’d made two years ago. Even if you'd been a frequenter of this blog back then, you’d probably not be aware of this little fiasco in which I was Reesesless. After all, I don't think I posted it to the world. One would think that I’d have learned a valuable lesson though, and not made the same mistake yet again.

No comment.

So, is the world a better place? Not as of yet, but I’m still hopeful. After all, there is always Easter.

By the way, you probably won't want to click HERE. Don't say I didn't warn you.