Undoubtedly you wonder: just what could this mean? No, I’m not speaking of the exceptionally attractive Borg goddess from Star Trek: Voyager; after all, her name is Seven of Nine.
What I speak of today is the BIG number two. No, not that number two either.
I speak today of…Gluttony.
Glut`ton*y \ , n. ; pl. Gluttonies: Overindulgence in ingestion; excessive immoderation of the desire for food; self-indulgence.
He was quite the glutton when he gluttoned himself gluttonously with the insatiable gluttons at the feast.
Teachinfourth’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 2009, 2009 MICRA, Inc.
It all happened just a few days ago. I was at the store, minding my own business. In fact, I was only there to get one or two items; however, one can never be too sure of one’s needs, so I grabbed a cart on my way in just in case.
I wandered up the aisles looking at the assorted items, when—to my dismay—I found the way ahead barred by two elderly women with overflowing shopping carts. Carts heaped with cans of cat food, reams of toilet paper, and veritable troves of case-lot sale goods.
Instead of becoming a part of the rapidly-building bottleneck, I opted to detour down an entirely different aisle which I usually tend to avoid. You know this aisle—it’s the one containing all of the holiday ‘items’ which is rotated month to month—save Christmastime when the same items burgeon the shelves from the day after Halloween until two weeks after New Year’s.
As I hurried up the aisle, a glint of bright, orange packaging caught my eye.
I shouldn’t have stopped.
But I did.
I found myself facing the rows of wicked indulgences to which I usually take no heed to. Nevertheless, this particular one seemed to be calling my name…
“Teachinfourth…” it whispered.
I looked around me, and removed one of the earbuds of my iPod.
“Take me home…I’m delicious.”
I could not be swayed quite that easily; I ignored the thought, and made ready to walk away.
That’s when the voice spoke again, “I’m on sale...”
I stopped. I checked. It was.
How in the world could I let something so extraordinary remain in such a place when it was half its regular price?
I am not a Grinch; I do not have a heart made of stone.
I made said purchase and departed; my arteries hating me.
It was delicious.
Gotta love it…in small quantities; or in quantities slightly larger.
Happy Belated Easter to me…