Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Moments with Joey - Profanity

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. LATE AFTERNOON, FIFTH GRADE CLASSROOM. The school day has ended, and most of the students have gone home for the day; however, two boys remain getting help on their variable homework from Math class at the back table. As one of the boys finishes up, his teacher requests his paper to check over the problems he’s already done.

TEACHER: So, did you work out these last few problems, Joey?

[The teacher indicates several problems which are incorrect and have no work shown for them. The boy nods his head as he looks at the incorrectly-answered equations].

JOEY: Um, yeah…

TEACHER: Really? [Pause] You seemed to have missed quite a few of them…

[Pause]

JOEY: I did, Mr. Z, really. I swear.

TEACHER: Really? I didn’t think you did stuff like that.

[The boy’s face is blank for a second, and then takes on a look of shocked horror].

JOEY: No, I mean, I worked the problems out. I don’t swear; I swear!

[The boy stops in midsentence and covers his face with his hands].

TEACHER: Wait, so do you swear or don’t you swear?

JOEY: [The boy looks up with a confused grin on his face]. No, I don’t swear?

[The teacher nods appreciatively and starts to look over the boy’s assignment once-again].

TEACHER:
You promise?

JOEY: [The boy nods]. Yeah, I swear.

Fade to black.

28 comments:

Corine said...

LOL - I absolutely LOVE this! Jason, you are such a fun guy! :D

Richard & Natalie said...

I love "Joey". When I first started reading your blog and discovered him I had to go into your archives and read more. This one produced a giggle just like all the others...I swear. :)

Rachel said...

Just kiddin'. Have you seen that youtube video cuz I haven't just kiddin' I have just kiddin' except I'm not kiddin, just kiddin'and I don't swear just kiddin'.

MindyElias said...

I'd missed "Joey"....glad to see him back :)

Lars said...

I have the biggest grin on my face. At least he wasn't really swearing, which for some people is math induced. You sound like an amazing teacher.

SO said...

My husband says this to our kids all the time when they say "I swear". They get exasperated with him but they still laugh.

PMC said...

very cute! i remember the first time i ever got in trouble at school. it was for SWEARING!! i was trying to go down the slide at recess (3rd grade) and the BOY in front of me wouldn't go and I said, "Go! Go! I swear!" He told. I went. I got in trouble for swearing when I knew darn well what swearing really was....using the words my parents liked to throw around at random....THOSE words. 3rd grade was a tough year....

Amanda said...

Haha! So funny :D

novidiac said...

Growing up my mother wouldn't let us say "I swear"... we had to say.. 'I solemnly vow '...
we couldn't say 'hate' either.. had to say 'utterly despise.'

For some reason when we corrected ourselves with the approved phrases.. they always came out in a snooty british accent..

Mamma has spoken said...

Well at least he didn't say other words that I have heard slip out of fifth graders mouth....Though I have had to explain to many that some words are ok at home but not at school....

hintonrae said...

I swear, that was kind of devilish of you, to twist the poor kid up like that.

summer said...

Funny post....and I love the response to the person how posted right above me. I may just need to borrow those two lines to use with my own kiddos!

Teachinfourth said...

C - It's "Joey" who really makes the magic; I am simply there to record it.

N - I am anxious to 'discover' the other adventures and exploits this boy is going to have this year. I don't doubt that there will be quite a few.

R - You promise?

M - Me, too.

L - I was trying my hardest to keep a straight face through this whole thing; it wasn't easy.

S - Something like this never seems to get old, does it?

M - Your comment made me laugh. Those dratted multi-meaning words sure can get us into trouble, can't they?

A - Agreed.

N - The funny thing about British accents is that they always make everything sound so much better.

B - That is true, sometimes there are certain words I've heard students utter which aren't quite appropriate as well.

L - By the moon and the stars in the sky?

S - I don't think that Nova would mind in the slightest, borrow away.

Rachel said...

Ya, I promise...just kiddin'...just kiddin'

A Lark said...

I hate math, too - I swear!

Teachinfourth said...

R - I figured as much...

J - You too?

Shirley said...

I have read many of your blogs with "Joey" and many times I wished I had you for one of my teachers! But as my husband pointed out to me, I had it even better in school, I had you as my friend. :)

cari said...

Oh, that Joey! What's going to happen when you actually get a kid named Joey in your class?

Julie said...

I love the stories that come from teaching...especially from "Joey!"

Trevor said...

Cuteness!

Valerie said...

That was funny :)

Amy said...

I so love to read teacher stories. This is exactly what we talk about over our lunch hour. Kids really say the funniest things!

Teachinfourth said...

S - To be completely honest, I wish I'd been one of my teachers, too when I was a kid. I guess this is kind of an impossibility though - or wishful thinking...

C - I've thought about that. Luckily, I've gone nine years without a "real" student by that name so far. Fingers still crossed.

J - Heaven knows that teaching provides ample opportunities for stories, doesn't it?

T - To see his expressions was enough to make you burst out laughing; I had a hard time trying to keep a straight face.

V - Amen to that.

A - Since I eat lunch with my students, I usually have to hear the stories after school or during faculty meetings. You're right though, they are quite the fodder for entertainment.

Farscaper said...

I LOVE IT!!!

You really have the right kind of humor.

My husband will pull something like that on me from time to time... Wait until I'm REALLY into whatever I'm doing then spring something like that on me. Eases the stress quickly (after I figure out what in the world he's talking about. It can take me a bit sometimes).

Gerb said...

I needed a Joey story today. Thanks for the laugh!

Rich said...

That is such a funny experience.

tammy said...

This was funny.
I swear.

Teachinfourth said...

FS - He sounds like an awesome guy!

G - I'm glad I've got him around to keep me entertained as well. I really also need to write down more of his stories!

R - He is a kick in the pants most of the time.

T - Do you promise that you swear?

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