Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Moments with Joey – Elbow Milk and Short Circuits

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. LUNCHTIME, CAFETERIA. The teacher is sitting with his students enjoying a nice lunch when one of the boys holds up his carton of skim milk and looks intently at the packaging.


JOEY: Skin milk? We’re drinking skin milk?

TEACHER: Joey, that’s SKIM milk.

JOEY: Oh. [Pause]. Well, if it really was skin milk, I’d still drink it.

TEACHER: How in the world do you think that somebody could get milk from skin?

[The boy holds up his arm and begins to ‘milk’ his elbow, making the squirting noises as he does so. He starts to giggle, finishes his lunch, and then exits the lunchroom].

SCENE 2, INTERIOR. JUST AFTER LUNCH, CLASSROOM. The teacher walks into the room and notices the boy standing just inside the classroom door.

JOEY: [Spoken with desperation]. Mr. Z, where have you been? I’ve been waiting here for you forever.

TEACHER: Um, Joey, I ate lunch with you remember? You were milking your elbows…

[The boy stands in confused silence for a few moments].

JOEY: Um…

TEACHER: C’mon boy, use the brain, okay?

[As the teacher passes into the classroom, the boy starts to slap his own forehead].

JOEY: Ugh, malfunction….brreezzt. [The boy pantomimes sparks flying from his head as he ‘powers down’].

TEACHER: You know Joey, sometimes I just wonder…

JOEY: Why I’m a smartacool?

TEACHER: [Confused]. A smartacool?

JOEY: Yeah, because I’m smart and cool at the same time.

TEACHER: Well, I guess it’s better than being a dumbalame.

[Pause].

JOEY: You’re killing me, Mr. Z.

TEACHER: You know, I was just about to say the same thing…

[Fade to black].

25 comments:

Yanet @ 3 Sun Kissed Boys said...

"You were milking your elbows..." You slay me, Mr. Z!!

Stef said...

Hahaha. That is great! I love it when kids say things wrong...
My niece thinks that the line "The Eye of the Tiger" that says "And the last known survivor hunts his prey in the night.." She thinks it says, "And the last known survivor kneels and prays in the night..."
Love it!

Mamma has spoken said...

Interesting, milk from the elbows.....Guess it's better than some other part that he could have named :o/

Kalei's Best Friend said...

"milking your elbows" better than milking the teach..

Connie said...

Joey has that smartacool thing going for him, for sure! He thinks the same thing about you, too.

Linn said...

Just when I think I've already read my favorite--you go and put something like this up. Love it!

tammy said...

So do any of these conversations ever happen with girls or is it only with "Joey"?

Wait, I live with boys so I already know the answer to that.

MBGITWWR said...

Kids are so creative. What a funny Smartacool!

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

And with that mental image rolling around in my brain, it may be a few days before I can enjoy a glass of milk. :)

Kristina P. said...

I just appreciate that you milked this conversation to share with us!

Just SO said...

Elbow milking?? It doesn't get better than that!

DeNae said...

I love these Joey segments. Keep 'em coming!

Jenny said...

Milking elbows, now that is one I have not seen in the lunch room yet.

Natasha said...

Elbow milking! I wonder what skin milk would taste like...probably not something I'd want to drink. Just saying.

mintifresh said...

That's right up there with milking a cat! hahahaha

Marnie said...

I lost it when he was milking his elbows! Now that is hilarious :0)))

Shannon said...

Yup, I'm pretty sure I'd rather be a smartacool than a dumbalame too.

Rachel said...

Milking his elbow! THAT. is funny. About as good as my grandma telling me that if I kissed my elbow I would turn into a boy after I complained that I wanted to be a boy because they had all of the fun.

Make Do and Mend said...

I remember being a grade-schooler and not wanting to drink my milk because it said on the side of the container that there was "fat" in there. One day I convinced a whole tableful of 3rd grade girls that we shouldn't drink our milk because of said "fat". Even thinking about it now makes me want to gag. Little globs of "fat" in milk. We go in biiiig trouble for not finishing our milk. You're a much better teacher. You'd probably make up an opera devoted to the glories of milk-fat and call it a day!

Sarah said...

What a funny kid! I feel like I have "malfunctions" like that all the time. And on a completely unrelated note, I think that you reached all the way out here in AZ and STOLE my perfect playlist from my head and put it on your sidebar. LOVE IT!

Cherie said...

LOVE IT! That was clever!

Jason, as himself said...

"Skin milk."

I love that.

Sarah Garb said...

I, too, love the elbow milking mental image, and also how it later it is referred to as an event. But what nobody has yet commented on is the fact that Joey would still drink milk made from skin. Anyone else a bit concerned about that fact?

paige said...

Hilarious.

KLZ said...

Um, I might need to steal dumbalame

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