It Makes no Sensa to Me

Pin It I was checking my email the other day when I noticed the ad on the sidebar. Usually I ignore these things…after all, it seems that we’re inundated with the petitions to buy this, that, or the other—those things that we never knew before existed, but upon learning about them, we now know that we’ll not be able to go another day living without said item simply because.

Or so they say…

Yeah, you know these ads.

This particular advertisement caught my eye simply because my currently petty goal in life is to lose about 4 more lbs. before my students return to the classroom in another eight days.

So I paused to read over the information.

I glanced at the image of the ripped African-American on the sidebar, his skin glistening with an incandescent sheen and abs you probably couldn’t even crack with a sledgehammer. His arms looked like something akin to the branches of an Oak tree. Wow, and all this from Sensa?

I could be African?
Glistening like a sun-ridden vampire?
Six-Packian like Dr. Pepper?
Rippian?
All with no drugs?
No pills?
No Frills, furbelows, or accompaniments?
No stimulants?
I could still eat like a total pig and lose weight, gaining muscle and looking like something having just descended from the jagged, cloud-topped peaks of Mount Olympus?

Man, where do I sign up?

I awoke from my daydream and thought about that abdominal workout that seemed to be pretty popular a few years ago—the one where you just had to hook up the small electrodes to your stomach and chest and in just a few weeks, PRESTO! You’d be toned, trim, and ripped like never before without ever leaving your couch and by doing nothing but watching television and eating boxfuls of Krispe Kremes slathered in barbecue sauce and bear lard (see again, photo of toned African-American male).

I laughed as I thought over this and even Googled the ‘magic’ remedy of Sensa to discover that it’s really all about magic…just like James’ magic crystals from James and the Giant Peach. You see, all you have to do is sprinkle a dusting of magic powder over your meals that enchantingly makes you believe that you’re full, and you lose weight because of—get this—the smell.

Not even Hogwarts has something this outlandish.

I started laughing as I closed the browser window, copied the image for the ad, and started to write this post; I was thinking the whole time of how wrong they really have it…the ‘magic’ remedy for weight loss—or so it seems to me—is the usual: eat fewer calories and get a bit more exercise. For the most part, this seems to work the best for me, and it will probably be the weight loss program I’ll stick with…after all, it’s worked before.

However, should anyone know of a magic dust that transforms flab to abs, and melts away the inches with zero effort whatsoever on my part, then I hope you’ll pass this choice little tidbit of information my way because you better believe that I’d be all ears.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my elliptical machine and I have an appointment.

Oh, and as for that toned African-American-with-the-skin-glistening-with-that-incandescent-vampirian-sheen-and-abs-like-concrete-awesomeness? Yeah, he has no legs...they didn’t mention THAT little side-effect in the AD did they? Maybe Sensa’s really not the wonder drug for me...