Thursday, March 29, 2012

Moments with Joey - Unicorn Lockdown

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. NOON. CLASSROOM. The school has just been removed from lockdown status. The students are taking the rest of their lunch recess indoors. The teacher is returning to the classroom from the cafeteria with one of his fifth grade students. After a few moments, the boy turns to his teacher.

JOEY: Why was the school on lockdown, Mr. Z?

TEACHER: We already talked about the reasons a school would go on lockdown in class, Joey; it was probably nothing.

JOEY: So, was there anyone dangerous here at the school?

TEACHER: Just because a school goes on lockdown doesn’t mean that there’s dangerous men in masks running around in the hallways.

JOEY: Really?

TEACHER: I’m serious, Joey…everything’s fine.

JOEY: [The boy flashes the teacher a serious look] Mr. Z…

[The teacher pauses in the hallway and faces the boy. He looks to the left and right before speaking in a low, conspiratorial voice].

TEACHER: Okay, here’s the real story…the one you’re not supposed to know about [The teacher pauses, and the boy leans in slightly]. A unicorn was sighted out on the playground. [The boy raises an eyebrow]. The principal called for a lockdown because it was prancing back and forth, shooting magical rainbow wishes from its mane and tail; you see, he didn’t want to share any of the wishes with the rest of the school, he wanted to keep them all to himself.

JOEY: [The boy tries not to smile and rolls his eyes]. Sure, Mr. Z…

TEACHER: Hey...for unicorn wishes, I’d have called for a lockdown, too.

SCENE 2, INTERIOR. NOON. CLASSROOM. Lunch recess has ended and the teacher is reminding the students a second time of proper procedure during a lockdown. After a few moments one of the students raises his hand.

TEACHER: What's your question, Joey?

JOEY: What if somebody breaks into our classroom?

TEACHER: Then I'd have to protect you all with my ninja skills and sheer awesomeness.

[A ripple of laughter moves through the class].

JOEY: What if he were really tough though?

TEACHER: Then I'm afraid I'd have to use these [The teacher holds up his fists with a flourish and grins]. In fact, if I were to put them into my pockets, I'd probably be arrested for carrying concealed weapons.

[The class bursts into laughter].

[Fade to black].


Mindy said...

Excellent response! :-)

Sounds like it was a pretty intense day for your school. So glad everything turned out alright.

(For the record, I probably would have called for a lockdown for a unicorn sighting too, but only if there were gold sparkles and stars as well...)

Richard & Natalie said...

You are awesome and so are all the other teachers and staff at the school. Scary stuff today. I really glad it all turned out okay in the end.

Richard & Natalie said...


It's late. Forgive me.

Mamma has spoken said...

Lock-downs are no fun even when it's just practice. Love your response to all of it. You go you unicorn wish keeper!

Tracy P. said...

You are very blessed to be quick on your feet! I think of responses like that only after the fact. Lucky kids!

Life with Kaishon said...

I love that story : )
I love that the children have a teacher like you with a vivid imagination and a big heart.
Big hearts are my favorite things....right next to unicorns that squirt magical wishes.

Rachel said...

As a parent, I am so grateful to you teachers for keeping our children not only safe in body but also their spirits lifted during a scary time. Then to do SEP's on top of it all!!

A long day.......

♥Miya said...

You always have the greatest tales! Just letting you know, if I ever start a band, it's going to be called Unicorn Lockdown.

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

Humor is such a good tool for defusing tense situations. Good thinking.

wendy said...

I could use one of those unicorns here where I live.
You are a riot.

Joan said...

"Ninja skills and pure awesomeness" works every time!


Connie said...

Oh, I wish my kids had awesome 5th grade teachers like you!
This makes me laugh! No wonder your students love you so much!

I'm back in the saddle again. I'll be back!

Yanet @ 3 Sun Kissed Boys said...

Man I hate it when them unicorns go crazy in our school and I'm volunteering. Do you know how hard it is to tame a wild unicorn??

KortneyWads said...

This story has its own personal meaning since I witnessed it. Seriously was laughing just as hard as the kinds during the Ninja Skills and concealed weapons joke. Being able to pull the kids from fear to laughter is a talent.

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