Thursday, March 18, 2010

Moments with Joey – The Drink

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, HOMEWORK LAB. The room has about 15 kids, all from different grade levels, scattered about at tables working on various homework assignments. Several teachers rove about the room, helping the kids who need it. One boy sitting at the back of the room raises his hand.

JOEY: Mr. Z?

[The teacher walks to the back of the room and kneels down next to the boy].

TEACHER: What’s your question, Joey?

[The boy leans in conspiratorially and whispers].

JOEY: Did you know that I can do the worm?

[The teacher looks at the boy, confused].

TEACHER: What does that have to do with your homework?

JOEY: Nothing. I just wanted to tell you. Maybe you could record me doing it sometime and put it on YouTube.

TEACHER: Maybe, but probably not. Did you need any help on your homework?

[The boy shakes his head and continues working on his math assignment. The teacher moves to help a few other students when he notices that the boy’s hand is in the air again. He walks back to the student and kneels down next to him].

TEACHER: What do you need, Joey?

JOEY: I was wondering…could I go get a drink of water?

[The teacher glances up at the clock. There are only 10 minutes left of the homework club, and the students will soon be leaving for the day. When the teacher looks down at the boy’s assignment, he notices that he still has half-a-dozen problems left to do].

TEACHER: It’s nearly time to go home, Joey. Couldn’t you just wait to get a drink, and use this time to finish up the rest of your assignment? That way, you wouldn’t have to do it when you got home.

[The boy shakes his head and shoots his teacher a staid look].

JOEY: I need to get a drink now. If I don’t I’ll dry up, my face will crack apart, and I won’t be beautiful anymore. I’ll be so ugly that everybody around me will probably die!

[The teacher hides a smile as the boy puts his hands on his face and begins to pull the skin back, reducing his eyes to tiny slits. He gives a low moaning sound].

TEACHER: Well, I guess you’d better get your drink then, we don’t want people falling over dead, you know.

[The boy releases his face, grins, and heads for the hallway door. He pauses midway and looks back at his teacher].

JOEY: Mr. Z?


JOEY: You just saved the world, you know.

TEACHER: Yeah, I’m all about keeping world balance.

Fade to black.


Rachel said...

Like the new header!!

For once I can relate to Joey. When ya need a drink ya gotta have a drink because your face does feel like it will dry and crack and crumble right off onto the floor. Parched man! Of course then there is the soon to follow side effect.....when ya gotta go ya gotta go!! So that means another disruption.....a disruption I'm willing to make. Homework can wait, a drink of water can't! :)

Shannon said...

Everyday would be terrific if we could start it with a moment from Joey - that kid rocks like nobody's business.

Kelly said...

Nice scene! Did it really happen? You are a great teacher. Thanks for saving the world for us-one drink at a time.

tiburon said...

That might be my favorite Joey story ever.

Thanks for saving the world.

Gerb said...

Do you think that you could say yes next time and make a clip of Joey doing the worm for us? I mean, why keep him to yourself? Share the love.

The world needs more Joey.

Trevor said...

I think I have said this before, but you need to compile a book of these and sell them as mini plays!

Mamma has spoken said...

Uhm, I would have been the one to tell him he could have a drink after he finish so many problems. You know, that silly reward psychology thingy....
But then you did save the world, one drink at a time....

Teachinfourth said...

R - Thanks.

I guess you're right, one thing does lead to another, doesn't it?

S - I feel fortunate because I do get to start every day with this kid…well, 5 a week that is.

K - Believe it or not, yes. This actually happened yesterday. I've got several other 'scenes' with this boy I'll post as time goes on. He is a hoot.

T - You never quite know what 'Joey' is going to do next…

You're welcome.

T - I've got plenty of material, I'll say that. When I have enough of them, I just might see about compiling them all together.

B - Somebody's gotta save it, right? Might as well be me...

A Lark said...

This kid is going to be a famous comedian someday! Or maybe just one of those crazy teachers...

Teachinfourth said...

G - I think I missed your comment somewhere along the line…unfortunately, due to 'non creepyness' I will not be recording Joey doing the infamous 'worm' or uploading it.

However, it is quite the show…

J - The world may shudder at that idea.

allison nadauld said...

Hilarious. How many Joeys have graced that classroom. I can think of a few. Love the St. Patty's flashback.

tammy said...

Hilarious. I think Joey and my son would get along great.

tammy said...

I just had to tell you that my 8 year old is now going through your blog reading all of the "Joey" posts and loving them.

mywest said...

Its refreshing to have Joey's in this world and teachers who let them be themselves.

Teachinfourth said...

A - This kid is one of my favorites…never ceases to amaze me.

T - I hope that your boy doesn't get any ideas…thanks for reading, and for the comment.

D - We need a few more Joeys, so say I.

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