SCENE 1, INTERIOR. FRIDAY AFTERNOON, FIFTH GRADE HALLWAY. The teacher is bringing in his class after the bell rings from afternoon recess. The students file into the school and proceed to get drinks from the fountains and head to the classroom. The teacher is standing by the door as the last of the students enter the building. One boy lingers behind the rest.
JOEY: Mr. Z, do you know what parkour is?
TEACHER: Sure. It’s getting from one place to another in the most creative way.
JOEY: Yeah, there’s lots of jumping and leaping, too. [Pause] My friends and I were doing it on the playground.
[The teacher had noticed the three or four boys out jumping on the playground equipment during recess. Being a kid once, too, the teacher realizes that the boys probably believed that they must have looked something like this:
When in actuality, they really looked more like this:]
JOEY: Yeah, it made me all sweaty…
TEACHER: I can tell.
JOEY: [Nonchalantly]. Yeah, me and Jake and Ryan are going over to Jake’s farm to parkour this weekend. We’re going to record it and put it on YouTube.
TEACHER: Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun. Just be careful when you’re doing it, okay?
JOEY: Oh, I will be, but it’s hard when you’re awesome...
TEACHER: I’m sure it is.
SCENE 2, EXTERIOR. MONDAY MORNING, FIFTH GRADE DOOR. The teacher is bringing in his class for the day. The students file into the school chatting about what they did over the weekend. One boy near the back of the line limps up to his teacher with a pained expression on his face.
JOEY: I had to go to the doctor over the weekend and he said that I can’t parkour anymore.
TEACHER: Why’s that?
JOEY: I sprained my ankle.
TEACHER: Wow, what were you leaping from?
[The boy looks sheepish].
JOEY: The roof.
TEACHER: Of your house?
JOEY: Yeah.
TEACHER: Your house is two stories! How in the world did you get up there?
JOEY: I climbed on the fence by the house and then up on the roof.
TEACHER: You could have been seriously hurt, Joey.
JOEY: Yeah, but I wasn’t.
[Pause].
TEACHER: Then what about the brain damage you seem to have?
JOEY: Oh, I had that before…
[Fade to black].
16 comments:
I must be old.. never heard of the word 'parkour'... as far as joey- at least that boy is honest!. a little too honest....
I, too, have never heard the term "parkour" before, but I can well imagine my boy doing something similar... but maybe not jumping from a two-story house. He's scared of heights.
But he DID try and ride his bike down the hill behind our house and through our back gate when he was 4... and missed it by thaaat much.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! This post kicks parkour! I am one of the biggest fans of The Office and I LOVED this clip. Joey is one funny kid. I miss those days of my youth that were filled with such delusional joy! Give him a high five for me. :)
That second video makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. One of Coolister's female friends posted it on FaceBook and said it was what he and 2 of his friends look like when they parkour.
His 2 friends have since started taking a parkour class at The Center. Maybe you could pass word along to Joey that there are classes available?
before "parkour" it was just called free running... and cool though it may look I think there's an age suggestion which doesn't include Joey.
That right there is the reason parents get gray hair.
Hahaha! (Are you sure you aren't actually a sixth grade teacher and that you don't teach at my son's school?)
I'm a HUGE Office fan and I have little boys that are constantly doing things that are, I am sure, one way in their minds and completely another in real life. So, this is my favorite Joey post so far.
Brain damage already there quote = Funny!!
That story? May or may not have been something I did as a kid. Maybe.
Okay, I try never to type this, but you deserve it.
LOL.
I learned something new today. Oh and have I ever mentioned that I love Dwight? With his mad cartwheeling skills in that clip how could you not? ;)
I think Parkour is awesome actually. In my younger days I'm sure I would have been a pro excepting they didn't have it in my day so I never got a chance to excell. ;)
Dwight is my all time favorite.....
i liked the compare and contrast videos. and i love the last two lines. good stuff, mr. z.
Gerb! They teach classes??? Oh why was I not signed up???
Oh yeah. The last time I tried to do a cart wheel I forgot my age and about had my arms ripped out of their sockets!
Getting old bites......
Totally laughing out loud. This was awesome. There is a reason we decided not to have a walk deck off the second story of our house that overlooks the pool. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what that reason is.
I am a recess duty at an elementary school. You should see some of the stuff I have to stop kids from doing!
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