SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, HALLWAY. The teacher has just collected his class from lunch recess. The students file past as one boy lingers next to his teacher as he walks inside the school. The boy begins to speak but the teacher cuts him off.
TEACHER: Look, Joey, I already know what you’re thinking…‘Wow, how in the world did Mr. Z get so good-looking?’ Well, just let me just tell you that pain is beauty. The more it hurts, the better looking you get.
[The boy stands for a second in silence then collapses onto the tiled floor and begins writhing, twisting, and moaning aloud. In actuality, it looks akin to somebody having an epileptic seizure - while wrestling an octopus].
JOEY: [As if in excruciating pain]. Ugh, it hurts…the pain…the pain…
[The boy grips his throat and continues to thrash around while a few lollygagging students from the class stop and watch with stunned expressions. The teacher looks on in shocked awe as the boy hops to his feet and moves into the short line for the drinking fountain, as if nothing at all had just happened. The teacher, unable to stop himself, bursts into uncontrollable laughter. It takes him ten or fifteen seconds to regain composure].
TEACHER: Wow, Joey. I hope that I’m never that good looking.
JOEY: It’s like you said, Mr. Z, ‘pain is beauty.’
TEACHER: [Pause]. Well, I have to be honest here, Joey, that was pretty painful to watch. In fact, it hurt so much that I feel far more handsome than I did thirty seconds ago…and slightly creeped out, too.
JOEY: Yeah, you're welcome, Mr. Z.
Fade to black.
16 comments:
HAhah! That was awesome. Joey is a pretty clever kid, I must say!
And the hits just keep on coming! He's a riot!
And, I can imagine the look on Joey's face...lol... I love the way u two try to out do each other...
hahaha...I did not see that coming. so awesome.
:-)
You're right. That is a hysterical Joey moment. What a punk!
LOL...LOL... I can actually see this happening!
every time I read a Joey post I have to remind myself that you are NOT my son's teacher and so it can't be him... and yet... yep, he'd totally be there on the floor writhing in mock pain...
heehee
Ya gotta love this kid!
=)
That Joey does it again!! ;)
I'm just sitting here smiling only because I KNOW you encourage his responses and behavior in an indirect way. Thanks for laugh!
My son is this age and I have actually seen him do this! Boys...so funny!
Sometimes I do let him go just to see what will happen next…not all the time, but sometimes I'm curious. This particular moment happened yesterday afternoon...
Not sure who is more funny in this scene, Joey or Mr. Z.
Seriously. I can't even imagine a kid as cool and witty as Joey! Course, it takes an adult like you to help it along! Nicely done, Joey!
Gotta love him.
I love that Joey!
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