Essence of the Nitrate Stick

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Though hot dogs have been around for quite some time, historians have yet to nail down their true origins. Yet, the stories of where they came from are most certainly interesting, whether you believe they originated from Homer’s brief reference in the Odyssey to the sausage, the ascription given to German butcher, Hohann Georghehner who lived in the late 1600s as being the creator, or even the attribution of their invention as happening at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in 1904—the St. Louis World’s Fair. Wherever the birthplace of these little beauties, I still find that they taste incredibly awesome.

Speaking of franks, did you know that it wasn’t all that long ago that I was visiting a few friends down in Green River? I’d brought along a few gourmet bologna ponies from the land northward and was out placing these on the grill. I watched them hiss as they hit the barbecue with a sizzle. As the package emptied, I found myself gazing at the juice of these footlongs, still saturating my fingertips. Not wanting to wipe them on my cargos, I instead licked my fingers—not having a paper towel handy.

As the sweetened nectar of these durgers tantalized my taste buds, I realized just how delicious this stuff really was. I glanced at the plastic packaging; there was probably a quarter cup of that sweet essence in the bottom of the hot dog container, just waiting to be appreciated.

I thought about it.

Man, if only I'd had a straw.

I thought how this stuff’d make a wonderful popsicle; hot dog juice flavored frozen delights for a hot summer’s day. Why hadn’t anyone thought of this before?

Pure, unadulterated deliciousness.

I thought about drinking the remaining juice right from the package then and there. After all, I was thirsty, too. Well, that’s about the time everyone else started to come outside bringing the rest of the food for dinner.

I rapidly changed my mind and tossed the package in the trash.

Curses.

Maybe one day...


On a side note, of the facts below, all are true save one...if you want to guess which in the comments, feel free to do so. If not, that's okay as well. You can see the answer yourself by highlighting the section that says, "answer" at the bottom to reveal the lie in all of the truth.

1. The most popular condiment for kids with hot dogs is ketchup, while with adults it’s mustard.

2. The world’s biggest hot dog was 1,996 feet in length and was created by the Sara Lee Company for the Olympics in 1996.

3. The most expensive hot dog in the world was made my Joe Calderone and was sold for nearly $70. It featured not only truffle oil, but duck foie gras, and truffle butter as well.

4. By utilizing tongs or a spatula instead of a fork while grilling, your Dodger Dog loses far less moisture while cooking and all of those succulent juices.

5. Hot dogs are briefly featured in every Meg Ryan film—with the exception of one.

6. The hot dog was approved by NASA as a regular food item on space and shuttle flights.

7. On average, Americans consume 818 hot dogs per second in the United States.

8. The first words Mickey Mouse ever uttered in a cartoon were “hot dogs.”

9. Los Angeles residents consume more hot dogs than any other city.

Answer: #5 At least, not that I know of...

Images borrowed shamelessly from here and here.