Thursday, April 16, 2009

Moments with Joey – Pi

Pin It
SCENE 1, EXTERIOR. AFTERNOON, SCHOOL CROSSING. The school day is over. A fifth-grade teacher is out on bus duty. The last of the students are leaving the grounds. A fifth-grade boy is sauntering along the sidewalk, when he reaches the teacher he stops and begins to shuffle from foot to foot. The teacher crosses the last set of students and begins to walk toward the building.

TEACHER:
Hello, Joey. Aren’t you going home?

JOEY:
I need some help with my homework.

TEACHER:
You do?

JOEY:
Yeah, I don’t understand some of the math stuff...

[The boy falls into step with his teacher as they both walk back to the classroom. As they stroll together, the boy motions to his backpack].


JOEY:
You know what? If I were lost in the wilderness I could survive on everything I have in my backpack for a week.

TEACHER:
You could?

JOEY:
Yep. I’ve got two bags of popcorn and two bags of beef jerky.

TEACHER:
And you could survive for a week just on that?

[The boy nods his head vigorously and suddenly stops as he remembers something].


JOEY:
Well, Travis ate one of the bags of popcorn, and I ate the other one at lunch recess. And my mom ate the beef jerky last night.

TEACHER:
So, just how could you survive on food you don’t have?

[The teacher opens the door of the school and the boy enters. They begin to walk down the hallway].


JOEY:
I could always reeat it.

TEACHER:
[Confused] What would reheating it do? You already ate it.

JOEY:
No, Mr. Z. Not reheat it, reEAT it.

TEACHER:
ReEAT? Well, I have no idea how you could manage something like that…

[The boy shrugs, grins sheepishly, and then makes a quiet retching sound].


JOEY:
That way, it’d be warm, too…

SCENE 2, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, FIFTH GRADE CLASSROOM.
The fifth-grade boy and teacher are both seated at the back table with an open math book. The boy has already asked several questions about polygons. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a pencil. He heaves it to the table with both hands making grunting noises as if it weighs hundreds of pounds.

JOEY:
….ugh…too …heavy…it’s…too…much…to…lift…ugh…

[The teacher lowers his head and covers his face slightly; not wanting to show the boy that he is laughing].


JOEY:
Mr. Z? Are you crying?

[The teacher quickly composes himself and looks at the boy with a serious expression].


TEACHER:
Just a little bit.

JOEY:
Why were you crying?

TEACHER:
Because I only get to be with you for two days this week; you know, spring break…

[The boy nods his head knowingly].


JOEY:
Ah.

TEACHER:
So, why is pi so important to a circle?

JOEY:
Because most pies are circles? Well, that is until you cut into them; then they are just…yummy.

TEACHER:
No, I’m talking about pi for a circle, Joey. The pi spelled P-I, not P-I-E.

JOEY:
Like a cow pie? You know, cow pies are my favorite.

TEACHER:
Why am I not surprised?

JOEY:
But only when they’re fresh; that way they’re still moist and chewy…

TEACHER:
They’re good with milk I hear.

JOEY:
They are…just like chocolate muffins but bigger and flatter...

TEACHER:
I’ll have to take your word on that.

JOEY:
I love pi.

Fade to black.

7 comments:

Lydia said...

You could have a T.V. show with all the funny stories you get from "Joey", it would be a hit.

lokinthemoment said...

Thanking for visting us at www.lokinthemoment.com.

I actually got my degree in teaching as well.
[LOK]i.t.m.

Linn said...

Fabulous writing and story, but I feel a little ill in the stomach after that exchange. Yuck!

Bee said...

Oh boy. I don't think I'm at liberty to comment my real thoughts on this posting. Maybe one day...

hintonrae said...

Love this dialogue and have enjoyed exploring your blog this evening. I taught h.s. English until around 3 years ago when I decided to become a stay-at-home and homebound teacher instead, so there's some familiarity there, even with the age disparity. I checked out the tooth fairy joke you played--cracked me up. I loved that the family now suspects the tooth fairy of collecting teeth to replace her own. Keep writing.

Lori
hintonrae.wordpress.com

Vlado&Toni said...

hi there just got here through condron - blog surfing. nice blog you have

i like your joey stories, he's funny. i am kindergarden teacher so i also have these funny things going on once in a while :) will check your other posts too :) have a nice day

Gerb said...

I love pie, too. But not the same kind Joey does... do you know someone makes clocks out of those pies and people actually buy them?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...