Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Moments with Joey – Belly-button lint

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, FIFTH GRADE CLASSROOM. The bell has already sounded and the students have headed home for the day; one student remains in the classroom, rummaging through his desk. He is looking for a homework assignment. Meanwhile, the teacher is organizing books in the corner of the room. After a few minutes of silence, the boy walks over to the computer to begin his Spelling assignment. As the computer boots up, he runs his fingers lightly over the keys.

JOEY:
Belly-button lint is my favorite. Did you know that, Mr. Z?

TEACHER:
[Distracted]. What was that?

JOEY:
Belly-button lint is my favorite. It tastes salty, but that’s from the sweat.

TEACHER:
Where do you come up with this stuff?

JOEY:
[Taps forehead]. It’s all in my head, Mr. Z. [Pause]. By the way, I made that up; it’s not based on a real experience.

TEACHER:
Oh, really?

JOEY:
If I had me a whole bunch of belly-button lint, you know what I’d do with it?

TEACHER:
What?

JOEY:
I’d build a house!

TEACHER:
A house?

JOEY:
Yep!

[Joey begins to work on his Spelling assignment. He races his fingers over the keys making ‘brummmmmmm’ noises. He begins to poke at the keys with two fingers].


JOEY:
I bet if my face exploded, I could make it all come back together again.

[Joey pantomimes his face exploding in all directions with his fingers, and then ‘reconstitutes’ his face back the way it was].


JOEY:
Did you see Corin Bleu on the Kids’ Choice Awards?

TEACHER:
Nope.

JOEY:
He was slimed.

[There is a slight pause as the teacher continues to reshelf books and the boy turns again to the computer and begins his assignment. After a silent beat, the teacher speaks again].


TEACHER:
So, what color was he?

JOEY:
Color?

TEACHER:
Corbin.

[Joey shrugs].


TEACHER:
BLUE!

[Joey stares in silence for several seconds, his mouth slightly open].


JOEY:
Sometimes you’re so weird, Mr. Z.

TEACHER:
Thanks, glad you noticed.

[Fade to black].

6 comments:

renegadeponies said...

This is too funny! IS this what I have to look forward to with my boys? Thanks for the heads up!

Busy Mama said...

Just had to tell you I am thoroughly enjoying your blog!! How fun!!!

BTW - you've been surfed - visit my blog to claim your prize!

Amy said...

Love your blog! I am a Kdg. teacher and kids are just hysterical! I believe that's why I go to work everyday...maybe it's the paycheck too?!

Meg said...

Interesting.

Mamma has spoken said...

Love the story, I think times like this are the best perks of our jobs!!!

K.J. said...

If I collected belly button lint, I would make a pillow with it...I bet it would be one stinky pillow to rest your head on!

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