Moments with Joey – Belly-button lint

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SCENE 1, INTERIOR. AFTERNOON, FIFTH GRADE CLASSROOM. The bell has already sounded and the students have headed home for the day; one student remains in the classroom, rummaging through his desk. He is looking for a homework assignment. Meanwhile, the teacher is organizing books in the corner of the room. After a few minutes of silence, the boy walks over to the computer to begin his Spelling assignment. As the computer boots up, he runs his fingers lightly over the keys.

JOEY: Belly-button lint is my favorite. Did you know that, Mr. Z?

TEACHER: [Distracted]. What was that?

JOEY: Belly-button lint is my favorite. It tastes salty, but that’s from the sweat.

TEACHER: Where do you come up with this stuff?

JOEY: [Taps forehead]. It’s all in my head, Mr. Z. [Pause]. By the way, I made that up; it’s not based on a real experience.

TEACHER: Oh, really?

JOEY: If I had me a whole bunch of belly-button lint, you know what I’d do with it?

TEACHER: What?

JOEY: I’d build a house!

TEACHER: A house?

JOEY: Yep!

[Joey begins to work on his Spelling assignment. He races his fingers over the keys making ‘brummmmmmm’ noises. He begins to poke at the keys with two fingers].

JOEY: I bet if my face exploded, I could make it all come back together again.

[Joey pantomimes his face exploding in all directions with his fingers, and then ‘reconstitutes’ his face back the way it was].

JOEY: Did you see Corin Bleu on the Kids’ Choice Awards?

TEACHER: Nope.

JOEY: He was slimed.

[There is a slight pause as the teacher continues to reshelf books and the boy turns again to the computer and begins his assignment. After a silent beat, the teacher speaks again].

TEACHER: So, what color was he?

JOEY: Color?

TEACHER: Corbin.

[Joey shrugs].

TEACHER: BLUE!

[Joey stares in silence for several seconds, his mouth slightly open].

JOEY: Sometimes you’re so weird, Mr. Z.

TEACHER: Thanks, glad you noticed.

[Fade to black].