Sunday, March 9, 2008

I have no speech

Pin It I hung up the phone and shook my head.

I couldn’t believe it.

The conversation that I had had with this particular student’s mom was a bit out of the ordinary. I never thought a conversation like this would’ve happened…at least, I didn’t ever think it would.
But happen it did…

Z: Hello?
P: Hello, Mr. Z. This is Mrs. So-and-So, What’s-his-face’s mom.
Z: Good afternoon, Mrs. So-and-So. What can I do for you today?
P: Well, I needed to ask you a question, Mr. Z.
Z: Sure, what is it?
P: Well, my son, What’s-his-face, wanted me to call you and ask about your hair.


Z: My hair?
P: Yes, you see, What’s-his-face wants his hair to stick up like yours and the gel we have doesn’t seem to work very well. He was just wondering what kind you used and where you buy it.


Z: You’re serious?
P: Um, yeah. (In the background: “What kind does he use, Mom?”)
Z: Well, actually I buy it at Albertson’s.
P: Albertson’s? Great, and what’s it called?
Z: It’s called “Spike Glue.”
P: Spike Glue?
Z: Yes.


(In the background: “What does it look like?”)
P: Mr. Z? What does the container look like? What’s-his-face wants to be sure we can find the right one when we get to the store.
Z: Well…I think the container is kind of a light bluish-green color to tell you the truth. It says “Spike Glue” right on the lid. It also has kind of a yellow packaging around it.
P: Hang on, I need to write this down.


P: Okay, got it. Thanks. What’s-his-face will be so excited.
Z: Great, hope you are able to pick some up.
P: Oh yes, we’re going to the store right now.
Z: Alright…well, Mrs. So-and-So, you have a great day and I’ll see What’s-his-face back here again at school tomorrow.
(In the background: “How much does he use?”)
P: Um, Mr. Z?
Z: Yeah?
P: How much of the ‘glue’ do you really use? I mean, I don’t want him to use too much. He hasn’t done this before.
(In the background: “Mom! Don’t tell him that.”)
Z: Well, I usually just get some on the tips of my fingers, that’s usually about enough for me.
P: Hang on. I need to write this down. (In the background: “How does he get his hair to stick up?”)


P: And then how do you get your hair to stand up like you do?
Z: Well, actually, the gel does most of the work…that’s my big secret. You just kind of muss up your hair until it looks right. The stuff holds pretty well.
P: Okay, Um…Well, I think that’s all we needed. Thanks for your help, Mr. Z, we’ll see you later.
Z: Great, glad I could help out What’s-his-face.
P: Oh, so am I. Well…um…goodbye.

In the words of Jerry Seinfield, “I am speechless: I have no speech.”


Julie said... we all know the secret and can all have hair like Mr. Z!

smalltoes said...

Now, that is priceless! I am still laughing. I love it, love it.


annette said...

Great. Now the word is out, there are going to be little boys all over the school looking like Calvin got the modified transmografier to work again and duplicated "Mr. Z".

Gerb said...

Love it. Better than having a parent call and complain about something, right?

K.J. said...

That is so funny! I often wondered how you got it to stick up like that. Glad it wasn't me asking how you did it!

summer said...

That has to be not only your most unusual phone call, but possibly the best from a parent! Hilarious story - I loved all the little notes about what the student was saying in the background, and what a great mom to call you about hair gel! By the way, thanks for the name of the stuff, I'll see if it works on little B as well! :)

Teachinfourth said...


Just don't spread it around too much...


It makes me laugh in retrospect, however, at the time it was just a bit creepy to be honest...


Luckily, there have only been two sighted at SSV this year.


Good point. There could always be a worse call, right?


If you wanted some tips, just let me know...I'll set you up!

Lord of Summer,

It was pretty cool of her in the first place, like I said above though, it is a lot more humorous now in retrospect...

jacs said...

...what did you say that stuff was called again...and would you say you kind of run your fingers through your fingers through your hair or kind of pull it up as you go....
but here's my fave.... you mean you do your hair that way on purpose?!

jacs said...

did you see that last one? i LOVE posting while chase is sitting on my lap!

Laura said...

Ok as a hairdresser I have to say this totally cracked me up!!! I LOVED the background questions coming from whats-his-name---ohhh how you are changing the world one spikey hairdo at a time..very funny stuff!

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